Fantastic Fest 2013: Tiger Chen Will (Maybe) Kill Tim League While Keanu Reeves Watches

In case you hear about the untimely death of Alamo Drafthouse co-founder Tim League in a couple of weeks, we just want you to be prepared.

Among the signature events announced for Fantastic Fest 2013, to be held in Austin, Texas, from September 19-26, the most newsworthy is that Mr. League will face off against Keanu Reeves in a debate about the merits of Tai Chi vs. Tae Kwon Do. Then Mr. League will try to survive a round of boxing with Tiger Hu Chen, described in an official statement as "a superhuman master of form and combat." For the sake of Mr. League's wife and children, we can only hope that Mr. Chen will show mercy.

Coincidentally (or perhaps not), both Mr. Reeves and Mr. Chen will be in town for the U.S. premiere of Man of Tai Chi, which is shortly to be released by Radius-TWC.

Seriously, we hope that Mr. League survives, because (most of) the other signature events will not be the same without him. Full lineup and dates below. (All descriptions by the festival.) The stunt show listed first sounds especially exciting.

Danger Gods!: The True Daredevils of Hollywood Legend
Location: The Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline
Date: Wednesday, Sept. 25th
Time: 7pm
Description: Easily the most bombastic, explosive event in FF history, Danger Gods! is an in-person tribute to the top five surviving, pioneering stuntmen from Hollywood's greatest action era, the '70s and '80s. The following decades-spanning stunt legends will appear live for the show... Chuck Bail, Bob Ivy, John "Bud" Cardos, Gary Kent, and Bobby Sargent. The night will start with an in-theater overview of their daredevil history, featuring eye-bulging clips and a Q&A with the stuntmen. THEN... the audience will move outside for an explosive, turbo-fueled, death-defying LIVE STUNT SHOW featuring the legends themselves! Death-defying stunts include car rollovers! Stunt fights! High falls - on fire! Cars on fire! Men on fire! Monster trucks... possibly on fire! It's going to be an evening of nerve-shredding thrills and wild impossibilities performed by Hollywood's real, immortal DANGER GODS!!!
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Fantastic Arcade Happy Hours and Tournaments Presented by Sony Playstation
Location: The Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline
Dates: Thursday, Sept. 19th, Friday Sept. 20th, Saturday, Sept. 21st & Sunday, Sept. 22nd
Time: 5pm
Description: Fantastic Arcade enters its third year with an all-out assault of pure technological wildness. Every day from Thursday the 19th through Sunday the 23rd in the Lakeline lobby, guests are encouraged to attend panels, compete or just watch the daily indie game tournaments. We'll have drink specials each day and you will get to meet the folks that make up both the indie gaming scene in Austin as well as the international Fantastic Arcade game designers.
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Fantastic Fest Opening Night Party: MACHETE DON'T STOP Presented by YEAH!
Location: The Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline
Date: Thursday, Sept. 19th
Time: 9pm
Description: In honor of opening night film MACHETE KILLS, we are taking the Lakeline Drafthouse into the international dangerzone. Wear something moderately flame-retardant, because we're going to detonate North Austin with a rampage of film-themed experiences to satisfy everything from your thirst to your need for blazing fireballs. Austin's own Stunt Ranch will be on hand to provide action-packed photo opportunities, while Troublemaker Studios will be bringing in unbelievable items from Machete's own war-town universe. The cast and creators will be on hand for the mayhem, and to welcome you to Fantastic Fest 2013!
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Fantastic Fest presents: Doug Loves Movies
Location: Glass Half Full Patio
Date: Friday, Sept. 20th
Time: 4:20pm
Description: Come enjoy a cocktail and play the Leonard Maltin game with comedian Doug Benson, star and subject of SUPER HIGH ME and Fantastic Fest pot-umentary THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER ROLLED.
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Chaos Reigns!!! Karaoke Party
Location: The Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline
Date: Friday, Sept. 20th
Time: 11pm
Description: Demented revelry and potential humiliation combine in the night of your life during one of our favorite traditions here at the festival. Filmmakers, journalists and all other FF-ers shed their dignity in a vein-bulging effort to satiate the bloodthirsty Karaoke Gods. Tonight... WE RAAAAGE!!
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The Fantastic Debates Presented By MAN OF TAI CHI and Radius-TWC
Location: John's Gym
Date: Saturday, Sept 21nd
Time: Midnight
Description: Quench your thirst for blood AND intellectual disputation with another installment of the Fantastic Debates, where the burning questions facing the fan community are resolved once and for all... first with words, then with furious FISTS!! In honor of the U.S. premiere of the epic martial arts film MAN OF TAI CHI, this year's main event features the film's director/star Keanu Reeves versus Fantastic Fest co-founder (and honorary black belt) Tim League, wherein Keanu will defend the negative in the debate: "Resolved: Tai Chi is a martial art relegated to elderly Chinese women and is inferior in every way to Tae Kwon Do." To back his stance, Reeves will hand over the physical portion of the match to MAN OF TAI CHI lead Tiger Hu Chen, a superhuman master of form and combat. It was nice knowing you, Tim.
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Cards Against Humanity Happy Hour
Location: Glass Half Full Patio
Date: Sunday, Sept 22nd
Time: 2pm
Description: Join admitted board-game geek Kevin Kelly at the Glass Half Full Bar from 2 to 5pm on Sunday where he will be teaching people how to play Cards Against Humanity, which is billed as "A party game for horrible people." We'll also be playing King of Tokyo, which is all about giant creatures battling for control of the iconic city that is just a pure magnet for disaster. We'll be giving away cool board game prizes, including two passes to Board Game Geek Con in Dallas this November!
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Fantastic Arcade: VideoHeroeS Tournament and Arcade Awards
Location: The Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline
Date: Sunday, Sept. 22nd
Time: 5pm
Description: For the final game tournament of Fantastic Arcade, we wanted to go big, but we wanted to keep it real. We could have gone the easy route and pleased legions of fedora-wearing gamerbros with some space marine face-shooter. Instead we decided to reach out to all of Fantasticdom with the one game to rule them all- both game fans and cult movie fans, united. VideoHeroeS is the game that will make this possible, and we will be assembling two teams of magnetic-tape videoslaves who may or may not know what a videogame is to show of their encyclopedic knowledge of every dusty big box to grace a video store shelf. The 2013 Fantastic Awards will commence after the tournament.
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Wild Rumpus & Devolver Digital present: You Guys Like Tequila?: The Fantastic Arcade After Party
Location: The Empire Control Room. 604-606 E 7th St. Austin, TX 78701
Date: Date: Sunday, Sept. 22nd
Time: 8pm - 2am
Description: London based indie game roughhousers The Wild Rumpus travel all the way to Austin, Texas to hold hands with Devolver Digital and see out Fantastic Arcade fantastically with a load of booze, dancing & videogame funtimes. Tonight we bring you the best in indie multiplayer and party games (we're not exactly sure which ones they'll be just yet but trust us they're always awesome...and sometimes a little bit physical), DJ Phil Fish & Cosmic DJ Matt Piersall and visuals by Wiley Wiggins. All of your friends will be there. Free for attendees of Fantastic Fest ($10 for regular Joes)
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Nerd Rap Throwdown
Location: The Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline
Date: Sunday, Sept. 22nd
Time: 11:30pm
Description: Come watch the battle unfold as a handful of nerdworthy contenders vie for lyrical supremacy in this movie-themed freestyle rap competition set to tracks from the great Fatboy Roberts. Witness our 2012 champion Andrew Todd defend his title! We are still signing up contenders, email registration@fantasticfest.com if you think you can flow.
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Fantastic Fest Awards
Location: The Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline
Date: Monday, Sept. 23rd
Time: 9pm
Description: Not for the faint of heart... when you win an award at Fantastic Fest you better be ready for a shotgun-blast of appreciation to the face. Strap on your drinking horns and join us for a night of full-tilt ceremonial tomfoolery.
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Fantastic Feud
Location: The Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline
Date: Monday, Sept. 23rd
Time: midnight
Description: The Fantastic Feud, brainchild of FearNet's own Scott Weinberg, pits the greatest American horror scholars against the feeble competition from foreign lands. Much drinking, swearing, threatening and feats of mental agility ensue in this age-old FF tradition.
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Master Pancake Mystery Mockery Show
Date: Tuesday, Sept 24th
Time: 7pm
Description: Austin's own comedic annihilators Master Pancake have been verbally attacking Hollywood's output for years, with their unique mix of lightning wit and adolescent jabs. It's a tradition as old as the Alamo itself, and for this year's festival, the jabbing jesters will be joined by a very special guest to take aim at one of the most beloved genre films of all time. Don't miss the opportunity to see these comedy legends perform what's basically maximum nerd sacrilege.
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Fantastic Trivia presented by Geeks Who Drink
Location: Glass Half Full
Date: Wednesday, Sept. 25th
Time: 1pm
Description: Highball and 400 Rabbits favorites Geeks Who Drink are back for their fourth pub quiz at Fantastic Fest! This special ninety-minute trivia event at Glass Half Full will feature questions about sci-fi movies, geeky pop culture, and classic video games.
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Doug Benson's Movie Interruption: THE RUNDOWN
Location: The Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline
Date: Wednesday, Sept. 25th
Time: 8pm
Description: Doug and special guests chill on the front row couches, mics in hand, and say whatever hilarious thing pops into their heads while a movie of their choosing unfolds on the screen. For this special FF show, they'll be presenting the underrated action blowout THE RUNDOWN (featuring FF favorite Marko Zaror), and the love of movies and interrupting, and maybe that third thing we can't remember right this second, will have you chillin', thrillin' and rollin' in the aisles.
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Metal Meltdown with Karaoke Apocalypse
Location: The Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline
Date: Wednesday, Sept. 25th
Time: 11pm
Description: In celebration of our premiere screening of METALLICA THROUGH THE NEVER 3D, live karaoke rock rampagers Karaoke Apocalypse will be bringing YOU onstage to perform the finest metal anthems. Hell, with any luck, a couple members of Metallica may be on hand to take part in the chaos. So sharpen your devil fingers, because tonight we praise the dark lords of Metal.
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Fantastic Fest Closing Night Party
Location: TBA
Date Thursday, Sept 26th
Time: 10pm
Description: What is the value of life? What is the meaning of existence? Here at Fantastic Fest it's to watch incredible films and party 'til the big burning ball rises, and for this year's closing night film, we celebrate Terry Gilliam's dystopian return to the big screen, The Zero Theorem. So escape your Orwellian nightmare and come with us on a Big Brother-free free-for-all as we dispatch all our preconceived notions about why we were put on this cosmic dirt clod and party like it Nineteen-Nietzsche-Nine!
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