Utterly Abysmal New Trailer For Dario Argento's DRACULA 3D

Founder and Editor; Toronto, Canada (@AnarchistTodd)
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Utterly Abysmal New Trailer For Dario Argento's DRACULA 3D
When a sales trailer for Dario Argento's Dracula leaked out a while back there were some poised to forgive it its abundant flaws because it was, after all, still in progress. But polishing a turd makes it no less a turd and the official trailer that arrived today is utterly horrid. Bluntly, judging from this it's hard to believe that Argento ever made a single competent film in his career - never mind a string of classics - and I cannot even begin to imagine what the Cannes Film Festival was thinking when they selected this atrocity. Argento's career has gone beyond decline now to the point where the Italian auteur is simply feeding off the corpse of his legacy. The man needs to stop.

I spotted this one over at Bloody Disgusting and you can indulge your baser instincts below.
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Dario ArgentoEnrique CerezoStefano PianiBram StokerAntonio TentoriThomas KretschmannMarta GastiniAsia ArgentoUnax UgaldeHorrorRomanceThriller

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QinlongMay 15, 2012 11:39 AM

The real suprise is to see how awful the usually reliable Thomas Kretschmann seems to be in this

Kurt HalfyardMay 15, 2012 11:41 AM

Oh Sweet Lordy.

ChrisMay 15, 2012 11:44 AM

Still seems too early to call it a turd, Todd? The trailer is a turd, maybe - but the film... I am such a sad fan of Argento that I still reserve judgement (sometimes for over a year after seeing the finished feature)...

hollandicadeMay 15, 2012 11:46 AM

For anyone impatiently awaiting Jess Franco's new film, here you have it.

Todd BrownMay 15, 2012 11:50 AM

The only element that you can blame for a 'bad trailer of a good film' is the editing. And sometimes if they use different music. EVERYTHING about this is wretched. The acting, the sets, the dialogue, the effects ... everything. The ultimate difference between the trailer and the feature? The feature will have MORE of all of this crap. Ugh.

But, yes, I will be seeing it in Cannes.

MattMay 15, 2012 12:31 PM

I don't get what all the negativity is about? Dario Argento has somehow found an old PC horror game that went unreleased and was almost lost in the annals of time. Luckily for us he's remastering it for the famed Cannes Video Game Festival.

The trailer has some great effects that were the cream of the crop in the late 80's/early 90's. It made me feel nostalgic for the days when I would run back home from the mall, floppy disks in hand. I'd watch an episode of He-man while my computer performed the whopping 7 diskette (3.5 mb) install, I could barely keep myself contained while I......wait....

Dracula 3D is a movie?

A NEW movie?

Oh.....oh no.....OH DEAR LORD.....I can't take it....*bang*

James DennisMay 15, 2012 12:49 PM

This does look fairly dreadful, but I maintain that Giallo was hugely amusing (although utter shite), so there's still hope that this will work as a perverse 'comedy'.

TJMay 15, 2012 6:48 PM


AdrianMay 15, 2012 9:29 PM

All the old italian genre directors -and most old genre directors- that still live have to earn a living of making commentaries for dvds or signing pictures in conventions. Argento is one of the few that still have the chance to make movies. He doesn't give a damn about filmmaking anymore? Sure. Does he have the right to make a quick buck by exploiting his name with any piece of crap that will be sold on a few markets? He does. As sure as I'm not going to see this, Argento is tired and doing it just to get some money. He did a lot for the horror genre while he was committed, now let's just give the guy a break.

Ard VijnMay 15, 2012 9:34 PM

Weird... many shots still have that "work-in-progress" look. A couple of things do not look that bad (and brutally over-the-top acting is a given with Argento to be honest, part of his style) but you never get any impression of love for cinema from this.

And indeed many of the bits in this trailer look like they come from a cutscene from a twenty years old PC game, "7th Guest" style.

Why does the jumping wolf look totally weightless? I mean, Dario Argento sure used to know how to film a dog attack, remember? Very baffling. And what the hell is Rutger doing with those ropes?

StephenMay 15, 2012 11:05 PM

Pretty sure Dario is living in a cardboard box at this point...

MarsHottentotMay 16, 2012 1:28 AM

YES! That's exactly what this looks like. Every time you die that loop of Drac saying "You should not have turned against me" dissolving into cheap CGI bats - perfect.

MarsHottentotMay 16, 2012 1:36 AM

"I say, I'ma thinking beforea I die, Ia make the commedia romantica. But, NOOOO, thea producers, they wanta the horror! Bah! They wanta the horror, Ia give them the horror!"

ToulouseMay 16, 2012 3:35 AM

At least it's fairly original. It must be one of the few movies that feature vampires.

marleydiditMay 16, 2012 2:05 PM

easy with the "foreign" accents Mars, Todd might freak out...

MarkMay 17, 2012 5:43 PM

Christ, that thing looks like Darkplace... but for real! So sad...

Macaco MalandroMay 21, 2012 9:02 AM

I am dying here.
Argento is main achievment here is to make Romero and Carpenter latests works looking better.

trojinxx24August 17, 2012 5:12 PM

It looks like all the crap he's been making for the last 30 years. Why all the fuss?