The Full Trailer For TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES Knows It Is Dumb

Most iterations of our heroes in a half shell have played into the often ridiculous nature of the property. In fact, there was a cute self-awareness to the 80s/90s cartoon well before meta fiction was a part of the pop culture lexicon.

Up to this point, the often vague and lackluster marketing materials for the Michael Bay produced live-action reboot at least seemed to be saying that it was going to be hella serious.  Yes, it appeared to be a film that was going to eschew the zanier side of the material for something more Nolan-esque. Albeit a very bland and generic Nolan-esque something something.

But now you can turn that frown upside down (maybe?), because a full trailer for the film is finally here and that really, really doesn't seem to be the case. Not only do we get our first clear look at the aborted Shrek fetuses in action, we also get a sense of the story: Raph must rescue the other turtles. Plus it seems William Fichtner is not playing Shredder, but a business man who outfits the Foot Clan and their leader with ultra-high-tech weapons.

It's also pretty darn clear that this thing is going to be just plain dumb. And I mean like never before in the history of an already silly franchise. Now the dumb factor may be of no surprise when it comes to Bay productions, but what's really amazing here is that it sure as hell seems like the filmmakers and actors and marketing execs at Paramount are playing straight into this awareness that it is dumb. Like some twisted and comedic big business-backed post-post modern comment on just how mechanical and lifeless these blockbusters have become. I mean every single image seen in this trailer, every line of dialog heard, is so rote, so... on-the-nose... and so unabashedly aware of its generic nature, that it couldn't not be as such. Right? RIGHT?