X-Men Origins Wolverine

I had the privilege of interviewing Gavin Hood shortly before he won the Oscar for directing Tsotsi. It was a well deserved win. And based on that interview I thought that it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. We need more of those in the movie business and we need more movies like Tsotsi. If you haven’t seen it you should. It is one of the most powerful films about reconciliation I’ve ever seen. Later when I heard that Hood had snared the Wolverine gig I thought it was a trifle odd. Here was a guy, coming straight off a Best Foreign film win, basically coming in for hire, and he’s going to be working at a studio with a big reputation for screwing over major talent and ruining franchises. For instance after Bryan Singer had delivered two great X Men films (the latter film being one of the very best comic adaptations ever) you would think Fox would fall all over themselves to keep him and most importantly their new franchise fanbase happy. Instead they alienate him, bring in a fixer, and turn one of great character arcs in the history of comics (Phoenix’) into an overblown, overpopulated forgettable farce. Is X3 fun? Yes but as a followup to X2 its a sinful indulgence, the kind that should make any thoughtful well informed lover of superhero films and characters squirm a little while watching it and feel like taking a bath afterwards.

Of course this is the same thing Fox did to the Alien and Predator franchises. They started with the likes of Ridley Scott, and James Cameron and John McTiernan and handed the reins over to studio fixers for the short buck when it came time for AVP. Daredevil and Electra? The only good thing to come out of those two franchises was the taming of the Affleck. And in a twist so ironic that it seems written in the stars, Fox actually managed to gum up the works of another potential franchise that wasn’t even at their studio, The Watchmen. I don’t know what kind of a deal they worked out with Warner but I hope it was for points and I hope they never see a dime.

And of course in a final irony the last three Star Wars films, however much they are the actual product of George Lucas’ mishandling, all bear the Fox logo on their spine. Hate Fox yet? Wish they would get out of the franchise business? Because that’s all it is to them- a business. They are the used car salesman of the comic book adaptation world. They don’t give a crap about you once they get your money and push you off the lot. Can you imagine Dark Knight having been made at this studio? Can you imagine Spiderman or Spiderman 2 even existing in a world run by Fox? The fact that they didn’t completely screw up The Simpsons movie is a testament to the fact that somebody over there has the common sense to STAY OUT OF THE WAY OF TALENTED AND CREATIVE WRITERS AND DIRECTORS. Why oh why couldn’t that person have been in charge of Wolverine.

Conversation between the suits at Fox- notice how much it sounds like a bored husband and wife trying to decide what to have for dinner:

FOX SUIT #1 It’s getting late on this whole Wolverine thing, what do you wanna do?

FOX SUIT #2 I don’t know what do you wanna do.

FOX SUIT #1 Well we made cinematic fast food last time?

FOX SUIT #2 Yeah but I don’t feel like cooking up anything original.

FOX SUIT #1 How about Chinese?

FOX SUIT #2 Ang Lee is booked Besides his franchise has already been rebooted.

FOX SUIT #1 Yeah I don’t feel like leftovers anyway.

FOX SUIT #2 What about half-baked Wolverine?

FOX SUIT #1 Sounds too exotic.

FOX SUIT #2 Trust me, this is perfect. It passes through the viewer just like fast food while having the appearance that it might be something somewhat memorable. We don’t even have to come up with a new story. We’ll use the last couple X Men movies to tie together some loose origin plot.

FOX SUIT #1 Wouldn’t the public rather sit down to something a little heartier after last summers Super-hero banquet?

FOX SUIT #2 All we need to do is get them in the door. Once they realize Wolverine is the movie equivalent of Old Country Buffet they’ll already have paid. Just make sure there’s plenty of corn on the line.

FOX SUITS #1 AND #2 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Any way you get the idea. It should be noted that Liev Schreiber is dynamite as Logans brother Victor making the absolute most of the forced relationship between the two. Likewise Jackman who manages to bring the increasingly cardboard title character to life. Other than those two performances this movie brings nothing to the X men mythos that you couldn’t find in fan fiction and yet it relentlessly and sloppily gives you information you don’t want or need.

And it’s ambition far outstrips the presentation of the CGI effects. This is a film that throws blatant CGI at you just when you need the shot to be photo realistic making the action scenes stand out like a sore thumb from the rest of the film. Unlike last years Hulk this movie is nowhere near cartoony enough to function on that level. Wolverine is about as exciting as last years tax shelter and yet it takes itself seriously enough to kill countless sympathetic characters just to propel its clunky story to the place where it can join up with the beginning of the first film. Congratulations Fox you’ve made a movie that will anger the hardcore fans and bore everyone else.