Big. Noisey. Video Gamey. TRANSFORMERS 3 Trailer Arrives.

Dear Michael Bay, remember when you made The Rock? I liked that movie. Still do, mostly for the ridiculous car chase sequence with the Hummer smashing the hell out of stuff on the streets. Real car, real destruction. And Bad Boys 2? That film is gloriously silly. And again, lots of real world destruction.

I guess my point - or at least the one that I want to lead with - is that I don't hate you, Michael. I really don't. It's just that I have no interest in watching you play a video game. And that's pretty much what you're giving me in the trailer for Transformers 3.

It's big and flashy and noisy and I just don't care at all because it's also far too obviously entirely digital, right down to the buildings. You know what would sell it and make the digital stuff work? An animatronic or two. It'd be like the blinky eye of the T-Rex in Jurassic Park. That one shot bought a whole lot of suspension of disbelief for the rest of the movie. It's not like you didn't have the resources. I mean, the studio backed a big truck of money up to your house to make this thing, why not spend at least a little bit of that building something instead of coding it.

I actually quite liked the Superbowl teaser, but this? Underwhelming.