HBO's New Series: ROME Review. Episodes 1 & 2

In the vein of the Sopranos, Six Feet Under, DeadWood and other TV shows that would never see the light of day on regular 'TV', comes HBO's newest offering that begins on August 28th, this monstrosity entitled Rome. And, as luck would have it, yours truly just previewed Episodes 1 and 2 - on the big screen no less (Thank you Karen and your communist company for the entrance...). So, if you're not still angry about Carnivale, here's what I've got to say about it...

Now I'm assuming I was shown 2 episodes for two reasons.. Cause one hour just ain't enough and 2) the cast and the political mess in Italy are of large enough proportions that it simply couldn't unravel in just one episode to wet your whistle enough to cure a thirst.

Greeting us at the door of the theatre was the family/association tree (See that picture over there) to give you a rough handle on who people were prior to the show. Not that it was necessary, but it made the jump into the pool a little less shocking.

Now, we've got an awful lot of HBO staples here.. big budget, lotsa violence, Big man language and to round off all that, lots of boobs and lemme tell ya, women just weren't respected much back then...

The cast is comprised of some solid talent, most of which however, I will admit, tweaked my memory at best, but I couldn't quite place. Lee Boardman from Coronation Street, Kenneth Cranham (from Layer Cake) The guy who plays Brutus for example, was last seen, according to imdb.com, in Finding Neverland as Theatre Patron Number 5. And of course, remember the chatty daughter from 'Unleashed/Danny the Dog'? Well she's in it, her name's Kerry Condon and this time she's made out to be particularly stunning (and naked, but who isn't really?) Needless to say, the easy route wasn't taken in getting this sucker cast and it paid off. After seeing the crazy-ass casting/media mess that was 'Alexander', this was like watching Heaven open its gates and flood you with a tsunami of good.

The time, 52 BC. The current political situation is calm...however, there's some rumblings in the closet about who truly has the power. You see, Caesar and Pompey are friends and through amicability, they rule side by side. Pompey the theoretically more powerful one who sits comfortably while they make statues of him, and Caesar, the war-raging leader who's been spending the past several years kicking ass all over the known world, has the respect of the Common Man. Whisperings of a power struggle are denied heavily by both sides until the wonderful world of religion/politics (technically the same thing back then) and miscommunication come into play and loyalties begin crumbling and civil war becomes imminent. (and that is where episode 2 ended.)

Speaking of religion, when was the last time you saw a cow get slaughtered above a woman as part of a desperate plea to Jupiter, covering her in enough blood to make Carrie jealous? Yeah, it's been a while, I know.

This crazy mix of characters all flow together as things are revealed/explained to the audience in a fairly even fashion all the way through, especially the first episode. A number of people cause various sub-plots to cross paths - my favourites of which being Titus and Lucius. These two are vastly different characters forced to work/travel together through orders and other times, circumstance. Lucius: the wise, married, yet verbally-agressive-to-make-up-for-his-inner-weakness is an amazing contrast to Titus, the genuine, kind hearted galoot who just wants to pillage, rape and get drunk. Fun huh? Yeah that's right kind-hearted and rape in the same sentence. Did I say the times were messed up?-Because.. yeah. These two easily made up my favourite part of the show when there wasn't carnage to watch.

Wanna know what's missing? I love this. Nobody is rebelling against the political incorrectness of the times in order to stand up for what we think is right, here in the 21st century. Y'know what I mean... you're not gonna see the girl in the First Class Deck of the Titanic giving anyone the finger, and you're not gonna see slaves plotting their overthrow for freedom. Nope. There's no justice in the social way of life: And Tough. It's not questioned or fought against - that's just the way it is, and it makes life hard to deal with. So everyone get used it. - Viewing that hard, never-ending social toughness gives the entire show a very coarse feeling. Sorta like cramming steel wool up your butt, only this time, you're not getting paid for it...

Anyhow, they managed to introduce all of these characters and still find time to get you hooked by the end of the first episode, but by the end of the second episode with civil war only a step away, made it all the worse. And by worse, I mean better. I wish we had HBO up here. (yes,I know we can get in on the Movie Network, but you and I both know the rest of the Movie Network sucks donkey humps.)
If donkeys had humps I mean.