DVD Review: VIKINGDOM Deserves A Proper Viking Burial

Right off the hop I have to say that Vikingdom is a real slog to get through. It is almost a staggering two hours long! Just as a common-sense rule, no action film should be two hours long. Period. 

And the real shame of it is that so much of this run time is taken up with a lot of talking. I thought I was in for an over the top treat when the opening credits rolled to the sound of heavy metal. Ah, I thought, here is a movie that does not take itself seriously and I can sit back and have a bit of fun. Sadly, I was misled by those opening riffs. 

None of the acting is very good. I almost feel bad for everyone involved because this is so achingly awful. Dominic Purcell's acting is wooden. How wooden is it? It is so wooden and I am so befuddled by it that I cannot come up with something clever to say. There is nary a streak of emotion in his acting, specifically his dialogue delivery. He makes 80s Dolph Lundgren look like a thespian for the ages. 

The action might be good but I cannot be certain. The problem here, and it is a common issue, is that the action is edited to the point where a strobe light would come across as lazy. It is indiscernible. It is incomprehensible. The scars left behind by Zack Snyder are evident as everyone jumps around through the air as if the battlefield were littered with trampolines. Film speeds are messed around with to highlight action that does not need to be highlighted. Any attempt to make the action and fighting come across as exciting fail to do so simply because of how poorly it is staged. Really, all the actors had to do was stand with their arms extended and hordes of bad guys would simply run into their swords. So sad.  

Vikingdom bears the burden of its modest budget. It tries too hard to be taken seriously and comes across as half-baked entertainment. When your subject matter is a living dead king fights a Norse god for the fate of humanity that is a license to have as much fun as is possible. As it stands, Vikingdom is not fun at all. 

I feel I deserve the right to be childish by now... 

Vikingdom? More like Viking-DUMB!