Review: THE HOST Makes Me Hate Cinema

Contributor; Toronto, Canada (@filmfest_ca)
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Review: THE HOST Makes Me Hate Cinema
It's rare that I see a film as patently awful as The Host. I mean, sure, I've stomached the likes of Identity Thief in the last few months, but this latest "film" from the "mind" of Twilight "author" Stephenie Meyer may well go down in history as one of the worst things ever screened to an audience.

The story involves Alien squiggly bits that after an interstellar journey get implanted into the necks of the human race, resulting in glowing eyes and a fascination with chroming (i.e., covered in shiny metal) vehicles. A ragtag band of humans with a proclivity of making out during a rainstorm, yet still being chaste enough to avoid hitting to the proverbial first base, are shown in a kind of existential battle. Hiding out in a dormant volcano, we see them going on daring missions, stealing supplies from what to any Canadian looks like a No-Frills that mated with an IKEA.

No, wait, before that bit there was a Wander who wanders through the desert in the most tedious runaway that may ever have been filmed. Oh, and there's this part where we realize that our heroine has held on to the former memories of her, um, host, and the two of them have conversations that lack the dramatic sophistication of Lily Tomlin and Steve Martin in All Of Me.
While somehow I've managed to avoid each episode of the Sparkly vampire series, I was assured by my companion at the screening that the so-called plot of The Host bordered on the plagiaristic, as storyline after storyline echoed Meyer's other series. There are repulsively awkward love triangles (taking sloppy seconds to a new, banal level), and makeout after makeout session that serves, I guess, to titillate those prepubescents the film is presumably aimed at.

Sure, we get our fair share of films targeted at 12 year old boys, so that targeting pre-teen girls seems fair game. Yet what's truly awful is just how idiotic the whole proceedings are. Literally every element grew to annoy, from the preposterous heeled shoes worn traipsing through the desert, the weird "mom-jeans" style white pants-with-thong-showing worn by the "Seeker," the guess-it-ahead-of-time script moments ("Wanda!"), and so on.

There was a brief moment that I thought they'd do something interesting. Yes, the ending was telegraphed from about 20 minutes in, but (spoiler, if you care), I actually thought, hey, that's almost cool, implant the host into the willing dude, and have them literally become one. That's how Star Trek or X-Files might have handled it, at any rate. But, now, we conveniently get another meat-bag showing up as a valid vessel, so that everyone gets their own cathartic relationship to live happily ever after.

Frankly, The Host is just boring to write about; it's a romance novel mixed with the trappings of Gene Roddenberry's worst tendencies for saccharine storytelling. The dreary cast makes it difficult to tell the 20-something chiseled boys from one another, and the likes of William Hurt makes one feel kind of sad that this is what he's ended up doing. There are some that will praise Saoirse Ronan in this, but if she doesn't jump to the top of the Razzies list with this potentially career-ending turn, then we're in for a pretty dreary year indeed.

Midway through, I hoped I'd see a sense of camp, of something overtly funny to cut through the treacle. Instead, we just got scene after scene playing out with astonishing banality, like the between-sex scenes of some tedious porn, with the love scenes directed by the cast of the Care Bears.

Somebody may someday make a sarcastic musical about this film, while some young viewers might find it a gateway to slightly more sophisticated fare. Yet on its surface, leaving the screening of The Host made me kind of dread cinema. So powerful was its anti-film funk that it managed to obliterate, if briefly, my feelings about what's been actually a pretty good week of film watching.

The biggest tragedy (maybe) is that the film's title will forever sully the enjoyable other Host film, the 2006 monster film from Bong Joon-Ho. When it screened at TIFF 2006 I found some things to criticize about Bong's film, but it's a goddamn masterpiece compared to this year's film that shares the same title.

2013's The Host is eye gouging, can't-get-the-hours-back-of-your-life kind of bad that if there's any justice will quickly disappear from your local screen, soon to be forgotten save for those masochistic few who actually stomach the entire running time.

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End Of CinemaKill MeThe HostAndrew NiccolStephenie MeyerRachel RobertsShyaam KarraBrent Wendell WilliamsJhil McEntyreActionAdventureRomance

Around the Internet

hutchMarch 30, 2013 4:10 PM

People try to front on 'The Lovely Bones', but Peter Jackson made way better use of Saoirse Ronan than most so far.

Jason GorberMarch 30, 2013 5:26 PM

I realize I've never actually seen her in anything particularly great... I've missed both HANNA and LOVELY BONES, and didn't get a chance at the time to see ATONEMENT. Frankly, only film of hers I've seen before is

BYZANTIUM, and that's hardly something to celebrate.

Todd BrownMarch 30, 2013 5:55 PM

Hanna's REALLY good, Jason, and she's very good in it. As she is in pretty much everything I've seen her in. I'm pretty comfortable saying that if she's bad in this it's because of decisions made by others around her more than her talent level.

harumphMarch 30, 2013 9:58 PM

Andrew Niccol has been a steep descent since Gattaca.

Jason GorberMarch 30, 2013 11:24 PM

ah, there's a slippery slope... it's her when she's good, it's the director when she's bad... At any rate, this shall hopefully be her nadir, she'll get a paycheque and move forward to bigger and better things.

Marcel SamsonMarch 31, 2013 7:26 AM

Or maybe smaller and better things? :)

scastagnoliMarch 31, 2013 8:40 AM

I couldn't resist responding to your absurd statement about Saoirse because it's so over the top. Firstly though, after having finally seen the film last evening, I have to say the amount of venom and hate aimed at it by critics is surprising given the project is clearly aimed at a very young audience and plays reasonably well overall.

Yes, it has been painful reading the reviews, but please note Saoirse has actually been greatly praised by many critics, including some of the most respected writing for the finest publications such as The New York Times. I've watched all her live action films, and she is the most exciting and gifted young film actress I've ever seen. By age 15, she had already garnered one Oscar and two BAFTA nominations in addition to boatloads of other noms and wins from numerous critical and film organizations. But saying her career path is somehow threatened by this film is not only completely daft but baseless.

Besides the likely art house projects Violet and Daisy and probably Byzantium, she has completed How I Live Now, a Kevin Macdonald directed film based upon an award winning YA novel by Meg Rosoff. In addition, Saoirse has finished shooting a role in Wes Anderson's upcoming The Grand Budapest Hotel. She has been cast in the lead to play Vera Brittian in Testament of Youth, and she's been selected for the lead in Mary Queen of Scotts, a Working Title film directed by Oscar winning Danish director Susanne Bier. You've heard of Working Title Films (Les Miserables etc.) and Ms. Bier (After the Wedding & In a Better World) haven't you?

So, don't insult your readers by writing such drivel.

Jason GorberMarch 31, 2013 12:04 PM

This is kind of weird, as I didn't particularly think I was being overly harsh on the performance specifically, but the project as a whole. I think there's arguments to be made about whether this is a blip in an otherwise spotless record, or indicative of her having a mid-level talent that's occasionally shined and occasionally will result in ridicule.

That, of course, isn't the point of my piece above. I'm reviewing her performance in this film (as part of a greater whole) and found it to be the most risible element in a sea of what could easily be laughable performances. She's the star, so she takes the brunt. I'm pleased she's good elsewhere, she's terrible here.

I'm not wishing for it to end her career, and can only assume that this blip will do little to change her directory, yet this is a high enough profile dud that there are many that will think of her as an actress who has now been in a series of major flops. Sure, this may allow her to do art films and lower budget pieces that we all can enjoy, but at the same time it would be silly not to realize that this film isn't going to take off the way the filmmakers had wanted it to following in the footsteps of the Twilight Franchise.

Finally, good actors do bad things sometimes, and sometimes a pretty middling performer can be in something extraordinary and never achieve those heights again. William Hurt is in this thing, and while he's doing his level best, it's clear he too has very little to work with. You know, the guy who for three consecutive years in the 80s had Oscar nominations (winning one), another in 2005 while working with Cronenberg, and now shows up as the old coot with a panache for reflective things and knowledge of produce.

So, while I may fear that Ms. Ronan will have a stink about her that may follow her to other projects, I think with passionate defenders such as yourself and our Founder/Editor she may yet rise about this high profile disaster. I wish her nothing but the best, while wishing this film had never been made.

scastagnoliMarch 31, 2013 12:31 PM

Please Mr. Gorber, don't write about her and even suggest she could be (my words) a mid-level talent. You're not likely to listen to me, but when Hanna was reviewed by Todd McCarthy, the senior film critic from THR, he referenced her and Cate B. by stating "two of the best actresses on the planet" in his summary sentence. Many other well know critics have raved about her for that same performance, and even though this film is getting slammed, a number of reviewers have clearly praised her unique ability along with noting how she was able to do justice to a very tricky and difficult role.

I'm not a film critic, but I'm a devoted fan who watched over one-hundred films at the cinema this past year in addition to many others at home. I saw a very elegant and intelligent actress last night with a beautiful and powerful screen presence. But if you wish, I'll be very happy to provide specific excerpts from many critics who have a vastly different opinion than yours of her performance in The Host. I don't wish to disrespect your website, but if need be I'll buttress my opinion by quoting many other informed sources.

Jason GorberMarch 31, 2013 12:39 PM

So, um, I'm not allowed to write about her, unless I say nice things? And if you find examples of others agreeing with me, I'm meant to shut up?

I'll note you're not putting this much effort into defending either the director (also lauded by many in the past), or raging about how

Max Irons is the actor of his generation.

I'll let you enjoy your Ronan fanclub moment, and shall go into her next performance with an open mind. I hope you can say the same.

Thanks for reading!

scastagnoliMarch 31, 2013 1:06 PM

Yes, I'm a fan and not ashamed to say it. You can write whatever you wish, but until and unless I'm knocked off this website I'll respond appropriately if I believe you're grossly incorrect about her.

Should you wish to site examples supporting your position, please bring it on, for I'll find ten positives (at least) to your one negative.

I'm not defending AN because I believe he's actually a better writer and individual who has developed interesting concepts rather than one who has consistently executed a script when wearing his director's hat.

I don't know why you brought up Max Irons. I'm not an idiot. His father is a great actor, but I did't see much last evening to convince me that he has a bright future in films.

Just as an aside, if she can snag another nomination by next year as a result of her work in say The Grand Budapest Hotel or possibly How I Live Now, she'll become the youngest female two-time nominee in Oscar history.

Jason GorberMarch 31, 2013 1:13 PM

"Cite", not "site" (I do that sometimes too...)

No point in a back-and-forth, I'm pleased she has positive supporters. I shall reitterate - I'm not advocating for her career to be snuffed out at this stage because of one shitty performance. You seem to be arguing she was excellent in this film, which I frankly find baffling, but so be it.

Our latest Actress winner (also previously nominated) was in another teen-oriented film I despised last year. As little as I liked HG, I found still something to admire in the lead performance. I found no such connection with Ronan, and given my only other film I've seen with her in it is BYZANTIUM, I hardly am going in with an agenda one way or another.

Not sure where the heightened anxiety is coming from ("knocked off the website"?), but at this point I think we'll agree to disagree.

scastagnoliMarch 31, 2013 1:17 PM

O.K., but you need to watch Atonement , Hanna and TLB. She was stunning in each.

Jason GorberMarch 31, 2013 1:35 PM

hah, you're so bossy! :)

Yes, I look forward to watching these, as I said above. And, again, I'll do so with an open mind...

Jason GorberMarch 31, 2013 2:49 PM


Simon de BruynApril 1, 2013 12:31 PM

Personally I'm impressed you watched over 100 films at the cinema. That's more than some film critics, way more than me.

And, yes, Gorbasaurus, watch Atonement.

scastagnoliApril 2, 2013 12:57 AM

Thanks. I love going to the theater because the experience is more fulfilling than watching a film at home. I enjoy watching a lot of foreign titles, indies and the better mainstream fare. We were lucky to have a lot of strong titles last year, but so far to date this year has been fairly weak, and unfortunately the popcorn season is nearing with its slate full of mostly mindless blockbuster films. But, there are always enough good titles to be found in the art house cinemas.

Simon de BruynApril 2, 2013 6:59 AM

Well, welcome to Twitch.

arathnonApril 2, 2013 9:09 AM

This is an absurd review. A film like this can only be judged by what it is trying to achieve and by the standards of genre it exists in. Given that Gorber hasn't seen any of the Twilight series, how can he possibly judge a film that is patently trying to appeal to the very same audience and stems from the same authorial source.

Also, on that topic, I'd like to know why the idea of Stephenie Meyer having a brain is being questioned? And why her status as an author is being brought up? Her books have sold over 100 million copies - clearly, she has touched a cultural nerve that earns her the respect of being called both an author and understood as having a mind. Oh, and her name is spelt incorrectly, good job!

Gorber's language, and his use of it to criticise, is also woefully imprecise.

"There are repulsively awkward love triangles (taking sloppy seconds to a new, banal level), and makeout after makeout session that serves, I guess, to titillate those prepubescents the film is presumably aimed at."

What about them is awkward? Why?

"There are some that will praise Saoirse Ronan in this, but if she doesn't jump to the top of the Razzies list with this potentially career-ending turn, then we're in for a pretty dreary year indeed."

What's wrong with Ronan? How does it compare to the best and the worst of the Twilight performances?

I could go on but, you get the drift...

scastagnoliApril 2, 2013 9:41 AM

Thanks Simon.

Josh April 2, 2013 4:02 PM

"Given that Gorber hasn't seen any of the Twilight series, how can he
possibly judge a film that is patently trying to appeal to the very same
audience and stems from the same authorial source."


Jason GorberApril 2, 2013 4:52 PM

No, I don't get the drift. I'm not sure there's a prerequisite to have watched the other films by the same author in order to judge this as satisfactory.

What's awkward about (spoiler, if you insist) having one of the love interests ask another to come in to snog in order to "wake up" the inner voice of our lead character?

If that's not awkward, I'd hate to see how you spent your prom...

Who gives a shit how it compares to Twilight's performances, the fact that you're connecting it to the films means that the marketeers have won over any semblance of treating this as a unique work. I find the very idea that this is merely Twilight in a new setting very troubling, you clearly think its the basis for any critical discussion. I think you're wrong.

Plus, 100 million sold doesn't make it good, it makes it popular. But you of course must know that.

Still, you pointed out my spelling mistake of her name that our editors also missed, corrected now, thanks for that.

And, yes, it is an absurd review. I'm glad you picked up on that.

josephApril 2, 2013 5:19 PM

Having seen Ronan in most of her movies to date, I can honestly say that your opinion of her acting abilities is bewildering! Even given the fact that you claim to be unfamiliar with her work (something any true movie aficionado would be contemporary with considering her Oscar nomination and acclaimed performances in 3 or 4 high profile roles).
In The Host, I thought she was excellent, creating two completely different characters and bringing them to life - an achievement few other actors, especially one so young, could have done. The internal dialogue, which is an integral part of the plot, and which worked so well in novel form but is so incredibly tricky to portray on screen, was beyond her control and down to producers, editors and director.
Maybe you need to watch some of her movies - I'd start with her very first role when she was 11 (again, for someone so young and making their movie debut, it was an exceptionally mature and gifted performance). Perhaps then you may have a more informed and positive opinion of her talent.

Jason GorberApril 2, 2013 6:29 PM

I continue to be amazed at the level of defensiveness for this one actor, especially given the near unanimous contempt for this film. I guess Ronan's got some powerful blogger friends making the rounds.

She's terrible in this film, I'd posit, and the fact that I went in without bias or expectation does little to discredit what I've written above. Watching 400+ movies a year, I'm going to miss a few (LOVELY BONES, HANNA, and ATONEMENT being the ones trotted out in this thread). I did see BYZANTIUM, unlike a great many, and while I found it to be pretty tedious, her performance certainly didn't rise to the level of being risible.

Still, I'm fascinated by those staunchly defending this one performer, while quickly laying blame for the whole debacle at the feet of the other culprits who made this work (as opposed to, for example, thinking possibly the other directors/writers/editors were responsible for when many loved her work).

The film is already a bomb, critically vilified by many long after I wrote my piece. Yet, to my own bemusement, there are those either holding the film up to be part of some great pantheon of works by Meyer, or arguing that Ronan can seemingly do no wrong.

You thought she was excellent, I thought she was terrible. Yet when you talk of "incredibly tricky to portray", are you seriously arguing that it was pulled off in this case?

Maybe I do need to see some of her films, but not in order to have written this review. My opinion of her talent in this case is (appropriately) constrained to the work at hand, and it is to her benefit that this film is a flop and will be seen by a few, for as argued below it shall lead to smaller and better things.

arathnonApril 2, 2013 7:14 PM

Firstly, I think it is important that, before calling into question the idea that Meyer has a mind, that you either see the films or read the books. There's no disputing that, really.

What my comment was actually asking for is, firstly and most importantly, for you to actually explain why you didn't like the film. Thank you for expanding on why the scene was awkward, perhaps next time that could be done in the actual review? Here's a list of things you have either said, or strongly implied, that you don't like but haven't bothered to explain why:

The Twilight Series (curious, given that you've not seen or read them)

WHY is Ronan bad? What exactly about her performance is wrong? If you want something to compare her performance to, it might be useful to go and check out the Twilight films

This statement: "The Host is eye gouging, can't-get-the-hours-back-of-your-life"

This statement: "one of the worst things ever screened to an audience."

This word choice: "masochistic"

Also, don't condescend me by suggesting that I have been led by the "marketeers" (who calls them that?), whilst you have not - Twilight is mentioned constantly in your review as a reference point, and yet you've taken no time to go and watch them. It's not an attractive quality in a critic (or, for that matter, any writer) to respond like this to criticism.

I actually never said Twilight was "good", merely that it had touched a cultural nerve (which, clearly, it has) and that Meyer deserves to be referred to with a little more respect. Whether it is "good" or not is irrelevant here, neither of us is judging it (well, maybe you are implicitly).

Finally, this: "If that's not awkward, I'd hate to see how you spent your prom". Now, this is an astonishing reply. I NEVER disagreed with you about the scenes being awkward, I just want to know why YOU think that. In fact, my main problem with your review isn't that I disagree with you about the film, it's that I don't understand why exactly this film made YOU hate cinema.

P.S: how exactly does something become an anti-film?

josephApril 2, 2013 7:35 PM

Just to set the record straight for you: I neither know nor have I ever met Ronan or any member of her family, her friends nor, for that matter, anyone involved with The Host or any movie she has ever being connected with. I'm merely an enthusiastic fan.
As I've already suggested, have a look at some of her movies, namely; 'Atonement', 'The Lovely Bones', 'Hanna', 'The Way Back'. You could start with her first movie, when she was only 11 (she's only 18 now), 'I Could Never Be Your Woman', which highlighted her exceptional talent and maturity.
Then, if you still doubt her acting chops, we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Some of The Host reviews were so OTT that I, personally, can't take them seriously.

arathnonApril 2, 2013 8:09 PM

"Yet, to my own bemusement, there are those either holding the film up to be part of some great pantheon of works by Meyer"

No one has said this.

arathnonApril 2, 2013 8:46 PM

Oh, and how do you know that The Host doesn't bear comparing to Twilight if you've never seen Twilight?

MartinaApril 2, 2013 9:51 PM

That is just sad. When someone looses his argument he always goes after someone else's grammar.
And yes, my English sucks too as I am not English native speaker.
Your article states only one thing- HATE!
And it's far for constructive criticism!
As every man, you can't stand S. Mayer, and probably your female company dragged you to cinema watched adaptation of her books, as many others.
It does not matter what book she will write and if a movie adaptation will be good or not, there will be always someone like you, pointing how unsophisticated Meyer is, because we all should believe that.
It's not important what you wrote as much what you wanted to bring accross.
You are nothing just a jealous loser writing articles about people you will never become.
You can't stand that fact that someone like Meyer has "what you deserve" all time along.
If you were able to write constructive criticism I would give you the benefit of the doubt. But this?! It can not scream more about your personal frustration!
Somehow, after spreading your poison here, you are still have problems with others, exprecing their distaste with your article.
God help me if I would end up like this. Write sad little articles about big people that helps me feel as big as they are.
You must be so proud!

MartinaApril 2, 2013 9:58 PM

You never watched any of her movies, and you still defending your opinion?!
What an ignorant prick you are?!
I would be surprised if they actually pay for your " expertise opinion" if you slagging someone off, yet did not even watched his work, neither know anything about him.
Good job!!'

MartinaApril 2, 2013 10:03 PM

Obviously you are amazed because for some reason you love yourself for the "incredible art of your brain" and yet, people fails to see that!
Words of the expert, a master of the art.....
How could anyone disagree with you?!?!
Maybe because your article clearly express nothing else than opinion, that everyone one else has the legacy to produce it.

Jason GorberApril 2, 2013 11:04 PM

I'm mildly depressed this is the article of mine that's getting all the comments... I highly recommend instead of worrying about drivel such as THE HOST, those that disagree with my assessment above parse my writing a little bit more carefully. I recommend then concentrating on finding a screening of this film in your neighborhood (, or, hell, even this (, rather than worrying about the fate of poor Ms. Ronan's future career, or whether or not Ms. Meyer's books make her rise to the level of "celebrated author" rather than "pulpy paperback hack" (a debate I frankly couldn't care less about having).

Naturally, I assume my recommendations for some of you won't be taken at face value, given the name calling, but for that silent majority that realizes just how godawful this film is, spilling more words on it might be I fear a futile endeavour.

One minor point I'd like to add regarding one of the barbs below- my original title was much more general (as you can see from the URL to this post). I'd like to think that we all suffer from films like this. Judging by the strong defence of Ronan's abilities outside this project, having her make this film seems, at least for some of you, a blip in an otherwise stellar career.

Perhaps the common ground we can find is the hope that she'll not be in any more pieces of shit like this movie in the future, and instead will continue
to blossom as a well respected, laudable performer.

Simon de BruynApril 2, 2013 11:56 PM

I do wish Gorb owned a female company. Binders full of women!

arathnonApril 3, 2013 5:43 AM

This article is getting attention because you, the critic, have let down us, your audience, by not explaining clearly what you didn't like about the film. Twilight comes in here, because the majority of those that will want to see this film will be doing so as fans of Twilight. The poster, the trailer and the use of Meyer's name by the marketing means that the question of: "If I like Twilight, will I like The Host?", is an extremely pertinent one for a critic to answer. And, indeed, if you have a look at other reviews, you'll see that they've answered it.

It is a shame that you believe we can only have critical discussions about films YOU like. I would argue that your opinion is not the sole barometer with which to judge whether not a film is worth debating about.

It's also a shame people have resorted to name-calling; it gives you something to hide behind. Although it is perhaps reflective of the subtle ways that you, in the comments above, have subtly insulted, provoked, condescended and ignored us.

The great irony is that I clicked on this review to hear what Jason Gorber, a critic who's opinion I am interested in, made of The Host. And yet, still, I am being told by JASON GORBER that I'm wrong for wanting this.

I understand why you've drawn a line under this. The review and the way you've treated you're readers is an embarrassment to

Omar HaukssonApril 3, 2013 6:08 AM

An actor is criticized for her current work. I don't need to see every movie she's been in to say that she's terrible in this one. Just as I don't need to read every comment you've made on the internet to see that your last argument was moronic.

Omar HaukssonApril 3, 2013 6:10 AM

Clearly you didn't read the article because he goes in to detail on why he didn't like it.
You just didn't like what you read because you are clearly blinded by your fandom.

josephApril 3, 2013 9:52 AM

Just one further point I'd like to make (then I think a holiday is required after this marathon). I doubt anybody needs to worry about Ronan's future career: she's already got Wes Anderson's 'The Grand Budapest Hotel' and Kevin McDonald's 'How I Live Now' in the can (being a reviewer you should know how highly regarded they are in the industry). Her next film is Ryan Gosling's directorial debut, and then, hopefully she'll begin work on two big dramas, 'Mary. Queen Of Scots' and 'Testament Of Youth'.

Jason GorberApril 3, 2013 12:32 PM

My point was that it's a shame that people feel more passionate for this film, rather than ones more deserving of praise or spilled virtual ink.

Still, thanks for reading and for your comments.

Jason GorberApril 3, 2013 12:36 PM

Yes, very much fitting into the "smaller and better" line trumpeted below. You'll find my gushing about all things Andersonian elsewhere on this site.

arathnonApril 3, 2013 1:09 PM

And my point is that I don't feel passionate for this film. The problem is not the film, but instead your review of it. I think the review, and the subsequent comments, contain an irrational, ugly and downright scary hatred (given that you've refused to explain yourself) for The Host, Twilight and, worst of all, those people the films are aimed at.

Philip David MorganApril 3, 2013 8:07 PM

This one was in trouble with me due to, of all things, a {ahem} "special" from the publishers of Us Magazine with the movie's title blazoned across the cover. "Oh, shit," I thought, "they [Meyer and Open Road] just had to rip off the English title of a certain Korean kaiju flick." I hope I can still track down the disc of Bong's film well before this 2013 fake slips quietly into the cut-out bins.

SuYin WongApril 5, 2013 3:17 PM

2013's The Host is eye gouging, can't-get-the-hours-back-of-your-life kind of bad that if there's any justice will quickly disappear from your local screen, soon to be forgotten save for those masochistic few who actually stomach the entire running time. - You take the words right out of me.

I kept wondering where are all the shiny cars and bikes? My bad. Blink and you'll miss. Everything else just happens in Grand Canyon and strong sands in your eyes. I wept for paying the full price of the tickets.

Jason GorberApril 5, 2013 5:50 PM

heh, I tried to warn you, I really did!

Make up for it, go see JURASSIC in 3D. It'll make you like movies again.

Jason GorberApril 5, 2013 5:51 PM

I've got Bong's THE HOST on HD-DVD because I'm cool like that... *cough*

Miodrag MitikApril 7, 2013 2:38 AM

This is the worst review I've ever read.

It's not really a review as it is pandering to the tween I-was-born-in-the-wrong-genereshn demographic, who are on the same level of maturity as you.

And those comments about Saoirse Ronan are preposterous every actual movie critic agrees that she was the only thing keeping the movie together.

Jen of all TradesApril 7, 2013 6:00 AM

I saw this film. I reviewed it. And hilariously, we had completely different things to bitch about. Had I way to actually introduce the thong and the ridiculous of the ridiculous shoes, I would have. I'm pretty pissed that I paid $10 for the ticket, and that's throwing salt in the wound after I finished the novel an hour beforehand.

Jason GorberApril 7, 2013 1:23 PM

Jason GorberApril 7, 2013 1:23 PM

ouch, that sucks... twice... :)

Ronnie PickinpaughApril 7, 2013 1:54 PM

She doesn't bring much of anything across in her books by the way. Any meaning in those books are elementary and easily digestible for simple people such as yourself to find meaning in it. That's great you're in love with her so much, but wasting your time writing a stupidly defensive reply to a honest review show how truly simple you really are.

Miodrag MitikApril 7, 2013 3:40 PM

of all time ever

Christopher WingMay 17, 2013 3:47 AM

People who like this movie and book are the same people that think Red Lobster serves actual seafood. Damn, people. Read some Philip K. Dick.

Seannie5November 20, 2013 8:04 PM

Hey mate! Join the club of having been lectured to by scastognoli or whatever her name is! She's been bitching at me the past 2 days just because I said Saoirse's new film was rubbish and that she was not good in it.

Seannie5November 20, 2013 8:07 PM

OMG! Did you actually tell a blogger how to run his site?
You are priceless!

Seannie5November 20, 2013 8:08 PM

Yes, it has been painful reading the reviews"

Seannie5November 20, 2013 8:16 PM

She was a good child actress in Atonement.
Hanna was boring
TLB - she was kind of irritating actually.
You gonna cry?

Samuel CirauloJuly 7, 2014 7:02 PM

movie was terrible but the book was amazing, the movie lacked all the depths,the book it fell short in every way nothing made sense in the movie, yeah it was the first movie I ever fell asleep in

Niala WesleyJuly 29, 2014 11:59 PM

It's only about 2 movies per week.

Niala WesleyJuly 30, 2014 12:05 AM

My first thought with the "100 million sold" was "well, so did the 50 shades trilogy and that is utter shite" and "some of the television shows to garner the most viewers are the very worst *two and a half men* "American idol* *dancing with the stars* *the bachelor* *survivor* while some of the shows that had very few viewers are the very best *Firefly*"

Niala WesleyJuly 30, 2014 12:48 AM

The Host was the rapiest movie to ever not feature a rape scene. It had more "sci-fi rape" (the kind of severe violations and removal of autonomy only thought possible in sci-fi) in it than almost anything I've ever seen. In my opinion, all the Souls were rapists either raping humans for their entire life or raping them to death. By this I mean the Souls knew that humans did not want to be possessed and forced their way into their bodies until the human spirits faded away. I hated when Wanderer told Melanie “get out of my head!” She’s not in your head. You are in hers! And she acted scared when she couldn't hear Melanie for 3 days. Yeah, because you are possessing her and thus forcing her to be displaced in her own body, to be a helpless observant while an outside entity has full control of her every movement.

Or that guy asking if Melanie can leave into a room in her head so they can have a moment alone to make out and possibly have sex. How is that different from a guy wondering if the girl can be unconscious so he can have a moment alone with her body to kiss it and have sex with it without her fighting him off? Notice that the only times Melanie was able to regain control for a few seconds was in life and death situations and when Wanderer was putting her in sexual situations she didn't want to be in. He thought of it as Wanderer’s body simply because she stole it from Melanie even though he knew Melanie was still there wanting consent of the body she was born and raised and spent her entire life in back. Both he and Wanderer knew that Melanie did not want him touching her.
The plot of the movie should read like this so people are warned: A 1,000 year old alien parasite possesses an innocent teenage girl against her will and uses her body to make out with a teenage boy while the teen girl is trapped inside with no control, screaming for the alien to stop.

I felt uneasy and pissed off the entire movie. Wanderer was a rapist, all of the Souls were rapists, and that stupid human boy was an attempted rapist. When Wanderer bathed that was touching Melanie’s naked body, kissing the other boy was forcing Melanie to be witness to her boyfriend cheating on her with the person that is denying her autonomy and it's happening in her own body, etc. And near the end the family asked Wanderer to stay possessing/stealing Melanie's body because they would miss her. And to make it even more disturbing, Melanie herself begs Wanderer to keep possessing her and even calls her the "purest soul" she has ever known.

Christopher SuitersJanuary 6, 2016 11:57 AM

I agree. When I heard the book was coming to the movies I was so excited. Man it was a let down almost as bad as Eragon.

Samuel CirauloJanuary 12, 2016 4:59 PM

Yea I love the Inheritance Cycle, the movie was utter trash.