Pink Eiga: 'Deep Contact' DVD review
Have you ever been in a bar, approached a girl, only to have her tell you that she wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth? I haven't. I avoid the embarrassment of that situation entirely because my interaction with women usually starts with physical repulsion or ends with 'You're like a brother to me' and since I don't live in the sticks the notion of inbreeding is not an option with these ladies. Luckily, thanks to science and perverts, there may be another approach to take. What if you were to tell her that if she didn't sleep with you that you may very well end up being the last man on earth and she wouldn't have a choice? Stay with me.
The year is 1999, and a comet is on a collision course with Earth! WATARU is kidnapped and taken to a secret hospital where the chief scientist tells him that he has a unique sexual psycho-kinetic ability that can save humankind. Together with the sexy scientist, IKUKO, who also has sexual psycho-kinetic abilities, they screw to save the planet from ARMAGEDDON!
So, all over earth countries are gathering their best Sexual Psychokinetic Scientists together with people who have strong Psychokinetic powers to have sex, lots of sex, in hopes that the energy from this global mass orgy will be enough to repel a comet that is headed straight for earth. They get together in their 'fuck dens' on the day and go at like rabbits. Either way, they're going to go out with a bang.
Deep Contact is technically a sequel to another film from 1997 called Whore Hospital. Mitsuru Fukudawara wrote them both and produced a number of pinku films. The original title is actually Pin-saro byôin 2: Nô-pan joi [Pink Salon Hospital 2: No-Panties Female Doctor] so when you're watching the title sequence and the Kanji looks a little lengthy, and the number '2' in it, that would explain that. What explains the No-Panties Female Doctor bit is that the staff of this unique hospital that Wataru is taken to are required not to wear panties so that they may be ready to practice with the patients so that they are in top form when the day comes [ha ha] to use their sexual psychokinetic powers to repel the comet. Deep Contact actually marks one of the first pinku films to ever show pubic hair as it was against the law to do so up until this film was made. Director Yukio Kitazawa only did it once and very briefly, flirting with this new found freedom for pinku film makers.
Clocking in at just over an hour not too much time is wasted on story and exposition. These guys need to practice after all. But there are limited attempts at a story as Wataru discovers that Ikuko has been saving herself for this date ever since she discovered her powers during her first period. In that time she has been planning for this project and she knew that Wataru would come along [ha ha] and he would be the one whom she slept with and helped save the world from destruction. Wataru has to make a choice about what his motivation for participating in the project is; getting money to pay off a yakuza debt or falling in love with Ikuko. I would have said it was all the nurses with no panties on. In my mind.
The physical elements to the story are pretty good by Pinku standards. I've seen less. But Kitazawa makes a pretty decent soft core sex film that doesn't leave you guessing what is happening on screen. And Deep Impact is supposed to be a comedy as well so there are a couple jokes in there. But you're not watching it for the jokes. You want to know if you got what it takes to save the world from imminent disaster. If NASA comes [ha ha] knocking at your door and they say they're looking for a few good men will you answer the call? You will tell them only if there are nurses with no panties on.
So back to the bar. Tell this girl that NEOs [Near Earth Objects] come within thousands of miles of hitting Earth and that you are part of a special scientific team that used their sexual psychokinetic powers to repel these objects from entering Earth's atmosphere every time one comes near. Tell her that it is next to impossible to track all the NEOs in the night sky so you must be in top form and ready to go at a moments notice. It requires diligence and lots of practice. Will she help you save the planet? Don't try to seal the deal by saying, 'Cause Bruce Willis isn't going to fly up in a rocket ship and save us, you daft bint'. That won't help.
If you'll excuse me. I'm going to go off and imagine that I am getting together with a sexy nurse and saving the world. Again.
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