PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME review

The title may be "Prince of Persia", but the subtitle is more appropriate - watching this film feels like watching the sands of time slowly trickle through an hourglass. Which is not for the greater efforts of the equally noteworthy and notorious action producer Jerry Bruckheimer, and the skilled director Mike Newell ("Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire"). But even they could not alter the conventional wisdom that video games tend to make horrid film adaptation. Based on a venerable video game harkening back to the early days of home computing, "Prince of Persia" is a lush, extravagant endeavor meant to both evoke the dashing adventure film sensibility of yesteryear and also remain faithful to its platform gaming roots. But thanks to some horrible miscasting in the form of leading man Jake Gyllenhaal, it's game over for this movie barely after it's begun.
Gyllenhaal, with his chiseled Neanderthal appearance and the charm to match, is utterly lacking the charismatic spirit that this film so desperately needs from its leading man. The movie has a lot of other necessary elements in place - a sassy, beautiful leading lady (Gemma Arterton), a hiss-worthy villain (Ben Kingsley in full-on Ming the Merciless mode), and a decent setting for exotic high adventure (the mysterious and dangerous desert). But what it really needs is, if not an Errol Flynn or a Robert Downey Jr, then at least a Johnny Depp or Kurt Russell. Alas, that's a no go - Gyllenhaal, even when he's trying his hardest to make good with his responsibility to carry this film, looks like he'd rather be taking a nap. And after a while, so would we.

Bruckheimer and company are clearly out to rekindle some of that swashbuckling fun of "The Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl" - but with a leaden leading man terminally weighing down the proceedings, most of which hinge on far-fetched (even for a video game adaptation) plot mechanics, this film is all buckle and no swash. I went in having channeled my inner ten-year-old boy, hoping for another "Pirates of the Caribbean" (the first one, not the sequels), or 1999's "The Mummy" (especially not those sequels!). Out of the gate, it was obvious that this may not be that movie, but it may still be fun for actual ten-year-old boys - the demographic that made Bruckheimer's "National Treasure" movies such big hits. After about fifteen minutes, it was apparent that even they could do better.

To be fair, one can hardly blame indie film vet Gyllenhaal for taking this type of part (and payday). But the poor guy is clearly in over his head. We should just be thankful that he never had to replace Tobey McGuire in the "Spider-Man" series, as was rumored back then.

The intention, if not always the execution of the filmmakers, must also be called into question. Sure, most of the action is run of the mill (lots and LOTS of video game-esque roof-jumping chases), and the oft-repeated, clunky idiom that "we make our own destiny" is less than half-baked, but Bruckheimer and Newell do in fact deliver a few things we've never seen before in action movies. Namely, competitive ostrich racing, and Ben Kingsley.

The plot for this airy summer romp begins as such: (and stop me if you're heard this one) A powerful country invades a middle eastern country in search of weapons manufacturing facilities that prove to be non-existent. Before long, the whole thing is revealed to be a power-grab from within by the vice president - er, I mean the king's brother. Gyllenhaal's character, the prince of the title, not only develops a conscious about the shenanigans his superiors are trying to pull, but also manages to swipe a magical dagger that enables its user to travel briefly back in time. Unfortunately, time travel device of the film is never fully developed, with the whole premise lacking any urgency. It in fact detrimentally removes considerable potential tension from the story once it's established - it is painfully clear that no matter what happens, our heroes can always go briefly back in time and undo whatever dire thing has happened. Yes, all the magic sand can be used up, but the screenwriters never run with that notion in any effective way whatsoever. By the final act, when an even more substantial and far-reaching time travel device is realized, the stakes unintentionally drop that much further. "Back to the Future", this ain't.

"Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time" should've and could've been the fun and exciting movie that the filmmakers no doubt set out to make. This is a classic missed opportunity, terminally mixing warmed over political commentary with warmed over action sequences. A different lead actor, one with a spark of charm, very well may've rendered this watchable. But as it is, the self-serious and weighty plot mechanics prove far too heavy a burden for poor Jake Gyllenhaal to shoulder. In the end, "Prince of Persia" is merely yet another video game adaptation that lays a big fat ostrich egg.

- Jim Tudor