TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
Revenge of the Fallen is an apt title for any sequel perpetrated by Michael Bay precisely because fallenness appears to be the primary drive behind his particular brand of excess. Not content to load his film with lots of explosions, and reasonably well executed CGI special effects sequences, which like many of his other films could fall under the category of innocently giddy if incoherent cinema, he insists (as he did in his other infamous sequel Bad Boy II) in heaping sin upon what could have been a really fun enterprise. Forget the fact that the movie sprawls yawningly over 2 1/2 hours and plays like an self indulgent introduction to a videogame with exposition after exposition. Forget the fact that the action sequences in this film don’t even hold a candle to the artistry on display in the first film, Transformers 2 Revenge of the Fallen is a stupidly racist, sexist, mess.
Sexist? The first shot is a butt/crotch shot of Megan Fox in denim short shorts leaning over a motorcycle with her legs spread far enough apart to invite a peek to make sure the wardrobe and makeup people took care of that all important money shot bikini wax. Is she a strong female character? Is she intelligent, resourceful brave? Yes, as much so as the horrible dialogue and lots of screaming and running will let her be. Other brilliant bits of sexual humor include a chihuahua humping a pug dog, a chihuahua humping a pug dog again, and again and a chihuahua-like robot humping Megan Fox on the leg. There’s also a supermodel desperately trying to hump one-woman Sam for reasons known only to the Decepticons. This is tired old stuff that wouldn’t work in the best of hands. Here it’s thrown in as filler between action scenes and ought to play great for all those jock and frat types who so desperately need another excuse as to why they objectify women.
Racist? How about two twin robot funny cars named Mudflap and Skids. They arrive complete with ebonics, gold teeth, and most importantly an inability to read that is awkwardly and pointedly made fun of in between their many, many fight scenes where they fight... each other.... yo. This is what Robert Downey Jr. meant when he said that you should never go full ‘tard folks. These two jive turkey idiots arrive compliments of the vocal stylings of Tom Kenney who presumably read the script and considered the fact that he is WHITE before taking on the roles. Even on the page this would send anyone with common sense scurrying out of the meeting. But then “the meeting” seems like it’s always been the biggest part of the Michael Bay package when it comes to movie making.
The plot has the Autobots scrambling to keep a cosmic shard out of the hands of Megatron and his cronies. When Optimus approaches Sam for help the college bound kid begs off, “I’m just a normal kid with normal problems.” Of course, soon, events beyond his control force him to save the world again. The sad thing here is the way the talented cast is saddled by the poor script. Everyone here pulls off their part and looks like they’re having fun doing it but they can’t possibly make it fun for us. Bay constantly pulls his camera back to reveal characters having moments he hasn’t given us any significant reason to care about. And the too few moments of real humor are shoehorned into a plot that leaves no room for them to blossom into anything that even resembles character development. Everyone arrives here whole cloth, completely formed and barely changes at all on their journey. Though Bay has loaded this movie down with more than twice as many robots the effect diminishes with repetition. In the first film it was almost as if you could see where each individual part of the Transformer went when it transformed. Here, as often as not, the camera pulls in tight so that you never feel you get a good look at what’s happening.
Hasbro created Transformers to sell toys and Bay makes movies about Transformers to sell tickets. Fair enough. But they were giving away kiddie comics and books at the screening I was at. This was stuff clearly intended to encourage parents to bring their kids to a screening later. Low rent, not-thought-through marketing by any stretch of the imagination. I’ll put it this way. Ever notice how much Bay looks like Fabio? This isn’t a digression, just be patient. Pictures of Fabio don’t do the guy justice. I’ve heard that he’s a nice intelligent man who’s actually quite humble about his good looks. Transformers 2 is like that picture of Fabio. I want to believe that Michael Bay is more than just a lout with clout and I want to believe he surrounds himself with people who can help provide some sort of base accountability for things other than the bottom line. But that isn’t the picture I get from the way this movie was written, made, cast or marketed. Michael, for someone who is known to desperately cling to every ounce of control he can in making and marketing his movies I suggest some introspection before you make another one.
