SANTO VS. The SHE-WOLVES UK release, DVD Review

UK distribution house Yume Pictures is about to release their second Santo DVD, good news as I quite enjoyed their first effort for the oddity it was (Santo in the Wax Museum, reviewed here).

When I received the review screener I quickly threw it in the player, fully expecting to see Santo strutting his stuff against some of the hairiest women in cinema history.
Did it deliver? Well...

I won't repeat Santo's whole history here as I wrote about that in the other review, but even in HIS huge and eclectic filmography "Santo vs. Las Lobas" is a hell of a weird film.
For starters Santo doesn't wrestle with even a single she-wolf, bravely defying the title. He does get to run like a sissy while being chased by a small and obviously friendly Alsatian, but after all the buxom models which have been representing she-wolfhood up to that point (clad in fur bikinis only), this is definitely a disappointment!

The Story:

Somewhere in a small village in Mexico, a werewolf clan selects a new queen. Once installed she plots the end of the Harker family, who are hated because they are immune to the curse of lycanthropy. The few remaining Harkers ask for Santo's help, because he's a silver symbol and, well, you know werewolves.

Santo at first refuses to believe this nonsense but after being attacked by werewolf after werewolf, and seeing a Harker nearly get assassinated, he grudgingly joins the fight against the furries. As Santo has been bitten (it took some effort, the dog was remarkably reluctant for a Shepherd) he has until the next red moon to exterminate the entire clan or he will turn into a werewolf himself.

The plot thickens when (surprisingly) the lead Harker and the werewolf queen manage to kill each other early on. This causes Lycar, the King of the Werewolves, to fly over from Transsylvania to take care of business himself, eager for a one-on-one with the Silver Hero Santo.

Let's get ready to ruuuuuummmbleeeeeee!!!


The Movie:

Santo was at the peak of his popularity when "Santo vs. Las Lobas" was made in 1972. It waned after, and no surprise given the level of quality for this production. Ouch! Forget any remarks made about mediocrity concerning "Santo in the Wax Museum": that movie is an absolute work of genius compared to this one.

The script is nonsensible, full of plotholes and unresolved sidestories, the acting is worthy of porn, the sets and make-up effects look cheap (some are a bit effective but most are laughable), and the editing is extremely sloppy. Some bits seem to be swapped around from the end to the middle, introducing some serious continuity errors.
But you can't ever accuse it of being boring. Even with bad make-up the werewolf women look hot in their bikinis. Werewolf guys just wear ordinary clothing, only the babes wear the uniform for some reason (not a complaint, by the way). Likewise, at the very least there's always something happening to un-suspend your disbelief or cause unintentional laughter. Here's an example of just how ridiculous this movie gets (slight spoiler):

The Harkers send an envoy to Santo to ask for help. After having expositioned the whole werewolf story to Santo he drives home and encounters a screaming woman on the road, covered in blood and claiming to have been attacked by werewolves. Of course he helps her into his car, gentleman that he is. But what does he do next?

1: He drives her to the police (she's been attacked!).
2: He drives her to the hospital (she's covered in blood for Christ's sake!).
3: He drives her to his home, tries to get her drunk and seduce her (hey, she's blond, why not?).

Points for everyone who chose option 3. Those stereotypical Latin Americans...
Come on! Am I supposed to feel sorry for this guy when she (gasp, surprise surprise) turns into a werewolf and kills him?

Still, general idiocy aside, the plot is fun. The werewolf plan consists of creating as many werewolves as possible, and then lay siege to the Harker farmhouse with as big an army as possible. It's a cool plan to say the least, shame it gets executed so sloppily (if all the wounded are turned into werewolves by the red moon, would it not make sense to, you know, stick to the plan and try to keep them alive until then?). The siege itself has one memorable scene at least, when a car full of women and children try to escape and get attacked in a scene remarkably similar to the first "Mad Max movie", skillfully thrown objects and all.

Unfortunately the final is terribly anti-climactic, and even Santo can't save this movie. He has little to do except look ridiculous in a suit. Even the wrestling matches are just inserts while the moviefights are uninspired and lame.


Conclusion:

I don't want to be mean, but this is the worst movie I've seen in years. If you're a Santo completist, feel free to order this, but I suspect this is not his finest moment. If you like to watch fun bad movies when drunk, this might also be a good one.


On to the DVD:

Yume sent me a review copy, but having compared the previous one to the finished product (the same, apart from menus) I don't expect this one to differ much. Image quality is terrible, terrible though. It even took me a while to realise it was in color! You'd have doubts about this if it was VHS, let alone DVD. But the Santo movies have always been notoriously neglected, and the local climate eats movies alive. The few remaining copies are privately owned on 16mm stock, and I can't blame Yume for bad source material if there isn't any better to be found. Thankfully we do get the original Spanish soundtrack, with English subs.

Hope the next one is better...