DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION Review

Dear Dragonball: Evolution Filmmakers:

Even knowing nothing about the original manga by Akira Toriyama, I feel safe in saying that you, sirs, have not made a movie that deserves the name.

At least, I hope not, because I cannot believe that one of the most popular manga series of all times bears any close resemblance to the movie that you have unleashed upon the world.

You cast Justin Chatwin as Goku, an actor in his mid-20s who is probably a perfectly nice gentlemen in real life, good-looking, easygoing, and prompt for his set calls. He is somewhat believable as a feckless 18 year old, but entirely ineffectual as a warrior in training. His stunt doubles (Jackson Spidell and César René Vigné), however, did some pretty good work, and I must allow that the fight scene in which Goku avoids hitting anyone is nicely choreographed.

But we simply must address the casting of Chow Yun-Fat and, while, we're at it, ask producer Stephen Chow: "What the hell were you thinking?"

I've respected the idea that Chow Yun-Fat has been "selective" in choosing his roles over the past half-dozen years. It's his life, his time, his effort that's required, and he's earned the right to be picky. So what element of this movie made him want to play the part of Master Roshi? Friendship with Stephen Chow? The prospect of filming in Mexico (lovely locations, by the way)? The idea that he could wear a Hawaiian shirt instead of a suit, and not have to fire a gun? The opportunity to work with director James Wong, who previously made the very entertaining Final Destination and Final Destination 3, but also The One with Jet Li? Surely it could not have been the script.

I can certainly understand your possible defense of the film. Perhaps you'll say, "It's for children!" Indeed, several children sitting around me last night found the film entertaining. (Of course, one of them also sang along with the pre-show ads, but no matter.) On that score, the film avoids profanity, shies away from violence beyond TV-style fisticuffs, and sexuality is limited to a chaste kissing at the end. Emmy Rossum is kept under wraps as Bulma, though Jamie Chung is allowed to emphasize her cleavage as Chi Chi. But she's the love interest for Goku, so I guess kids will look away, understanding it's a little bonus for their dads that have brought them to the theater.

Still, even children deserve entertainment that doesn't look so shabby. The opening scene, in which Goku spars with Grandpa Gohan (Randall Duk Kim), had blue screen and wire work that looked so cheap and obvious, I thought it was intended as a parody, that the camera would pull back to reveal the scene to be a dream sequence in which Goku imagines he's in a low-budget kung fu flick from the 70s. But, no, that's the actual level of quality that establishes what is to come.

Back to you, Mr. Chow.

Getting this project underway: not an entirely bad idea. Everything else: a sad, sorry stain upon your resume.

There's no good reason at all that Dragonball: Evolution should have turned out so poorly. Except that, at some point, you all abdicated your responsibility to step back and realize that things were not turning out well. I don't doubt your desire to make a good movie, and I'm sure that the entire crew worked very hard for many long days, weeks, and months. But you lost your objectivity the minute you approved that opening sequence. That should have tipped you off.

Unless, of course, this is exactly the movie you set out to make. In which case, I want my money back.

Sincerely,
Peter.