What's THAT coming out of my screen? BIG TITS ZOMBIE 3D UK DVD Review!

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Warning: there is at least one NSFW picture inside.
Peruse at your own peril...

Remember when we all marveled at the simple-yet-brilliant title of "Lesbian Vampire Killers"? Well, that title got topped big time this year by "Big Tits Zombie 3D". And yes, I include the "3D" in the title even if Terracotta's DVD-release doesn't, because it makes the film sound ever so much funnier.

And, to make sure the film would make good on at least part of the title, Sola Aoi heads the cast (and no, I just meant she plays the lead). This also ensured much Internet coverage as the famous Japanese porn actress is amongst the most Googled names on the Web. You wouldn't believe how many people end up here at ScreenAnarchy because they typed "Sola Aoi" in a search engine...

Needless to say our earlier coverage of this title was (and is) well-read indeed, and when we hosted the trailer we had a huge spike emerging in our daily traffic. Oo-er!

Shot on the quick-and-cheap in February of this year and released in Japanese cinemas in May, fans and curious people did not need to wait long for English-friendly DVD-versions. For the UK, Terracotta released their own edition a few weeks back and that is the version reviewed here.

The Story:

Five bored strippers are working in a near-deserted resort of ill reputation. When they discover an evil book in the basement of the condemned building next door, all hell literally breaks loose when one of them (of the emo-loli-Goth variety) decides to use the tome for raising the dead worldwide.

Before you know it, all sorts of dead things are coming to life, including sushi and even Mt. Fuji! It's up to the remaining strippers to recover the book and save the day, with a chainsaw if necessary...

The Movie:

Director Takao Nakano has urged audiences to approach this film as mindless fun and to just laugh with it, which is probably the best advice available. Because there is seriously not that much to tell.
The title "Big Tits Zombie" sums it all up, basically. It's good for a giggle or two, there are indeed zombies and truth be told Sola Aoi does get to expose her famed talents in 3D, along with Risa Kasumi whose contrasting physique gives the two actresses a bit of a Laurel and Hardy vibe. Both are obviously having fun here and Mari Sakurai is an adequate villain. But that's as far as this film's mileage goes, because calling this a B-film is doing it too much justice already.

Let's start with the 3D. This is done the old-fashioned anaglyph way, meaning you need those pesky color-destroying red-and-blue glasses. Now what this film does do right is that they use the 3D sparingly. It's mostly a 2D film but at some choice moments you'll get a 3D icon in the top-left corner which counts down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (and while this happens you can see background characters donning their glasses as well), and then the screen will turn 3D for like 30 seconds. And that's it. I'll be surprised if more than 5 minutes of "Big Tits Zombie" (out of 73) is in 3D.
Having said that, I must admit the moments they use the 3D for are chosen well and you don't get time to develop a headache this way either. But in a few shots the blue and red frames haven't been synchronized correctly (the red has a fraction of a second headstart on the blue) and that does majorly "pull" on your eyes. Ugh!

Next up are the zombies, and this is where the skimpy budget deals the most damage. Anyone painted gray and sporting red contact lenses will look creepy, open wounds or not, and these are ironically the best looking zombies. Anything more ambitious and the make-up bites the dust. One zombie in particular looks made out of paper.
Gore effects also suffer from the lack of production values. Practical blood is OK-ish but for most of the kills cgi blood is used and even if it doesn't look quite as awful as in the "Oneechanbara" films, it's still pretty bad.

All in all, the effects look like they were supposed to be finished in post, only post never happened. Sola's chainsaw is a rubber one for safety (and weight) reasons, but that also means the chain never moves even when she slices through the fake undead. And a zombie with expandable limbs has obviously visible strings attached. Compare this to the sometimes shockingly effective gore and gags done in the similarly themed "Zombie Strippers" and "Big Tits Zombie" looks like amateur hour.

Speaking of strippers, the girls on display here are definitely pretty but not exactly dancers of great talent. While this probably works in the context of the story (these are BORED strippers after all) it doesn't exactly create impressive visuals. Cay Izumi, you were sorely needed here...

On paper, "Big Tits Zombie" is based on the manga "Kyonyû Doragon" by Rei Mikamoto, but frankly the script by director Nakano might just as well have been thought up on a lazy afternoon. Inconsistencies and continuity errors are rampant. There are a few half-good jokes in there and the film never drags, but it also never rises above the barest (haha) expectations you'd get from the title.


Conclusion:

While nobody was going to be expecting a masterpiece here, this movie too often takes the easiest route to be recommended. Neither as gory or naughty as most other recent splattergore films from Japan, "Big Tits Zombie" sort of surfs on its title and the presence of Sola Aoi in various stages of undress. And sure there is some fun to be had here but it's slim pickings.


About the DVD:

Distributor Terracotta has released "Big Tits Zombie" as a region 2 disc. Videowise it is quite good but unfortunately interlaced, which might interfere a bit with the 3D as well.
The DVD also includes a fully 2D version of the film without the 3D bits.

For sound we have a 2.0 and a 5.1 mix, and both are adequate. The English subs are removable and good.

As extras there are the original Japanese trailer and the English trailer for "Big Tits Zombie", along with trailers for "Hansel and Gretel", "God Man Dog", "The Fox Family" and "Breathless". There is also a still gallery and some info on Terracotta (the company, not the ceramics), but the main draw here is a short doc called "Making of Big Tits Zombie". It's only 15 minutes but is a surprisingly nice behind-the-scenes on most aspects of the production, and everyone was obviously having a whale of a time. Both adult stars Aoi and Kasumi seem like fun people to have on a set and seeing the technicians play around with the (few) props and (few) sets is interesting. You get the impression this is one film which might have benefited from having a gag-reel attached...

All in all a decent disc for this film.