The Aristocrats
Just after sending in his most recent reviews from Montreal's Fantastia Film Festival Michael Lasry dropped a note asking if I'd want a film review from the other big festival happening in Montreal right now: the massive Just For Laughs international comedy festival. Seems Lasry was about to hit a screening of The Aristocrats, the new documentary about the undisputable king of all dirty jokes, a joke so dirty that the film has been banned from all AMC cinema purely because the film includes several comedians telling said joke. I'm no fool. I said yes. But be warned: the joke itself really is vile ... Don't go any farther if you're not prepared for that ...
“The Aristocrats" is a documentary about free speech, creativity and the power of imagination. Welcome to the nether world of the human psyche: a place where Bob Saget (that delightful icon of fatherhood on TV's Full House) treats you to a highly descriptive joke about a family, mangled genitalia, uncharted orifices and irreverent incest (to call incest irreverent is tautological but this film actually creates levels of depravity in the spectrum of incest). When Paul Provenza, the director of “The Aristocrats" who was present for the screening of his film as part of Montreal's Just for Laughs festival, said “prepare yourself for a descent in depravity", he was understating the new lows (yet so many highs) his film was reaching.
Let me get this part out of the way: should you or should you not see this film? In George Carlin land (a shame such a place doesn't exist), everyone should see this film. This is the ‘funny' equivalent to the most brutal and gruesome parts out of Bret Easton Ellis' American Psycho. If you want to decide whether you should take the risk, catch the South Park version of the joke on the net, which acts as a teaser for the film, and you will know whether it's for you or not. The trailer itself really isn't an appropriate description of the film. Most importantly, don't drag anyone to see this film. Make sure they have the capacity for such an endeavor. It's one thing to watch people being dismembered on screen. You can always rely on the good old “it's make believe" excuse to remove yourself from the experience if it's too intense. It's definitely another thing to leave everything in the hands of imagination and see, with your own perspective, what's being described to you by the comedians featured in “The Aristocrats". I believe Phyllis Diller when she says in the film that she couldn't remember the end of the joke the first time she heard it; she had fainted.
The joke is called The Aristocrats. It usually starts with the phrase “a guy goes into a talent agent's office…" What follows is entirely in the hands of the comedian who tells it. In the most common version, the guy says that he has a family act he'd like to present to the agent. The agent says “you have one minute". The family (most times, the father, mother, son, daughter and the family dog) walks on the set and presents an act of full-fledged indecency, described in detail by the comedian, after which the agent remains silent. Finally, still shaken by what he's just seen, he asks for the name of the act. The father enthusiastically answers “The Aristocrats"!
“The Aristocrats" examines the joke in detail. Who came up with it? What does it mean? What's so funny about it? The film is strictly made of interviews with comedians who analyze and decipher the joke in its utmost details. They then indulge us with their version of the joke. Most people have never heard about this joke until news of this film starting coming out, most recently with the AMC theater chains' refusal to carry the film. We find out in the film that the joke is just too filthy to actually be told to an audience during a comedy show. As one of the comedians says during the film “it's the kind of thing you share with the musicians" or as we find out, amongst other comedians at 5 in the morning during an after-party. Provenza really had a good idea when he decided the public should know about this.
The analysis part of the joke is fascinating. Why is it so funny after all? Well, the power of the joke lies in the improvisation part. It could fail (Hank Azaria's version wasn't that great) but when it succeeds, it's an uproarious triumph. Many of the people interviewed compared the joke to jazz improv and rightly so. They also added that when you hear “a note of Coltrane, you know it's Coltrane". The same goes for this joke. Every good comedian has a particular signature, so you know it's George Carlin when you hear the astute description of fecal matter and all of it's contents.
Provenza has done a fantastic job getting all these interviews. He condenses 140 hours of material into 89 minutes of non-stop laughter. At times, you'll wonder why some of these people were interviewed. Wait until you see Kevin Pollak's impersonation of how Christopher Walken once told the joke. It's a memorable imitation and proof that we just never know how talented most of the actors we see on screen truly are.
The quality of the image is a bit deplorable at times but it really doesn't matter, it's what the people say that does. It's regretful to discover as we did during a Q & A session after the film that the sound wasn't captured during Terry Gilliam's version of the joke (I'd love to know who screwed up on that one) and the DVD will certainly be a keeper. There's a version as told in a poem by Ron Jeremy that didn't make it to the film because it was too long and impossible to edit and another by Judy Gold that takes place at a Passover dinner. This is a DVD's raison d'être.
The film even gets emotional when discussing Gilbert Gottfried telling of the joke at Hugh Hefner's Friar's Club Roast. Most of us only know this guy as the principal with the nasal twang in “Problem Child". It's beautiful to see a comedian get out of a slump with such talent and class with a crass joke.
“The Aristocrats" pushes the envelope when some of the comedians tell the joke to their kids, who don't understand English yet. Some will be shocked and appalled and will scream for the film's removal etc… etc… This is where we come to the whole censorship issue. The film itself is not censorable. You just can't cut anything because there will be no film afterwards. Most importantly, it can't be censored. “The Aristocrats" is an exercise in creativity. To actually see all of these comedians creating versions of the joke on-the-spot or even sharing it with us is a blessing and something we should be grateful for. No matter how filthy, what you see is a comedian who starts off a joke with a general sentence to then unleash their creativity the way only they can and the result is, if it doesn't make your ears bleed, amazing. It's a myth that people who can do such wonders with creativity are few-and-far between. The point that the film stresses is that all of us should be aristocrats (you become one after telling your version of the joke to other people). That the joke is lewd is irrelevant; the important part is that it's humorous and humor done well has always been powerfully cathartic. And it isn't just a joke; it's an unrestrained expression of one's creative powers.
A few of the comedians who are in the film were present at the screening. Judy Gold mentioned that she called Paul Provenza a hundred times after her part was shot. Understandably, she wanted to be removed from the film. It took a great amount of guts for these people to accept being in the film. Let's hope there will not be any form of backlash following this film's release i.e. people boycotting the comedians who were in it.
“The Aristocrats" was dedicated to Johnny Carson. Someone in the audience asked why? Penn Jillette (the film's producer) answered that when it looked like everyone had no hope for this film, thought it was a stupid idea – even some of the comedians in the film – Johnny Carson kept sending e-mails saying how it was his favorite joke and encouraged the filmmakers. Reviewers don't always know what they're talking about but Carson did.
The comedians present at the show treated us to their version of the joke. This is how it goes.
Penn Jillette: A guy walks into a talent agent and says “I've got a terrific act for you." The talent agent guy says “ok, you've got one minute, what have you got?"
Gregg Rogell: He comes in with his pregnant wife, and says “we've got to do this now cause we can only do this act every nine months."
Paul Provenza: So then the kids come in and the father takes a syringe and injects their eyes with live AIDS virus.
Jeffrey Ross: And then from a trap door at the bottom of the stage, Bea Arthur appears.
Jake Johannsen: She whips out her cock and says “what do you think of this baby?"
Doug Stanhope: She says “I'm going to fuck that big fucking cranky angry pregnant Jew bitch" (referring to Judy Gold standing next to him) who's now forced to close this joke.
Judy Gold: So the big angry Jew bitch says to Bea Arthur “You are the fucking hottest woman I've ever seen in my entire life. I wanna lick your vagina." Bea all of a sudden gets her period. She's the first woman over the age of 70 to get her period so… they call in the New England journals of medicine, they make me stand there with blood dripping all over my face and it starts to coagulate and there's little bits of that kind of period blood where it's kinda gooey and then her ex-husband falls out of her vagina on stage. So then…
Jillette: the talent agent says what would you call an act like that? The guy says…
All together: The Aristocrats!
Review by Michael Lasry.
