I was howling with laughter, until the opening titles ended and the film began proper. Long story short, the name of the film is a totally misleading one, there are two fights, the aforementioned one and the ridiculous, almost boring end movie sequence, although props to the sumo from hell and his gun helmet! The plot as it plods in between these two half decent scenes, follows an innocent school boy and his Vampire/human-soon to be frankengirl love triangle, and the vignettes of bizarre characters that populate the High School where 99% of the film takes place.
There is a lot of send-up; the film parodies traditional Japan, the school system, subjugation and niche groups, such as the Gyaru; over-done to the extreme here with a rapper and even African tribesman rip-off all chanting Barack Obama sayings. To gothic-lolita crowd and the unforgettable, surely mentally handicapped, zombified wrist cutter rally, that regularly holds competitions and rehearsals!
Between these vignettes are what can only be described as a bad trip, the awful effects and should-be-illegal soundtrack make you wish you were on narcotics, is the film more enjoyable this way, someone please let me know.
Some important key characters emerge, the doc Frankenstein is the principal of the school who wears kabuki gear, for the sole reason that it is 'wacky' and his assistant the over-sexed serial killer school nurse, helps him main innocents in a montage of murder that is brighter than anything Agento's Suspiria couls produce, to make parts for his super taboo creation; "every father with a daughter dreams of this" he announces as her cuts his offspring up.
This all sounds great on paper, but the end result is quite awful and poorly conceived, even for a film of this calibre. Watch the first five minutes and give the rest a miss.