"That would be nice; take the edge off all the reviews"
As I write this review on my designer desk with my jewel encrusted pen that only writes in gold, surrounded by my servants that cater to my every whim, I take a moment to receive a quick shoulder massage and sigh after tapping my zebra skin shoes on the glass floor that houses a gigantic fish tank. I am thinking about those lovable 'gals' and their wacky adventures in the Middle East and how grounded, true and genuine the whole experience was. Oh wait; back to reality, I want my money back.
Sex and the City 2, Lost in Abu Dhabi (a title that was probably considered) is an extremity of excess in every form and for this review I just cannot help mentioning myself, much like the movie this is a selfish production.
Diamonds are certainly a girl's best friend and this is evident in the opening credits that temporarily blinds with its glitz turned up to 11.
This escapist uber-fantasy serves as an example of how far mainstream films have fallen. The loyalists of the show scream when the title appears over the New York skyline and the song quickly changes to a custom Sex and the City theme rap. Coupled with that and 'Bradshaw' (of main character fame) cosmetics in the real world, it is safe to say that Sex and the City is a 'brand', and a profitable one at that; in short a sequel made on the par, a cash cow or horse if anybody gets the reference.
As rich as the whole production feels (a credit to HBO for maintaining their reputation for production value), beautiful locations, stunning fashion, lavish set pieces and there are many, such as the 'extreme' gay wedding, Carrie's (Sarah Jessica Parker) wardrobe and the hotel in Abu Dhabi, the entire package is cheapened by poorly written characters, absurd plot and an inane message of girl power. This barely makes sense considering the wealth of genuine in the TV show.
There are, thankfully, only two musical numbers in the movie. Firstly Liza Minelli's shameless appearance at the gay wedding, and her 'rendition' of Beyonce's Single Ladies (put a ring on it), that will haunt my nights for a while as it was just too bizarre, and secondly, the ladies perform I am Woman in a Middle Eastern night club, while half naked Middle East women dance above them and Australian rugby players cheer them on. The message of 'just us girls' is spoiled by the bizarre randomness of everything happening around them.
Plot wise, Nay says Carrie who is unhappy with her upper class existence and the selfless Mr. Big (Chris Noth) and runs into Aidan (John Corbett who phones it in) in the markets in the Middle East (this was in the trailer, not a spoiler!). Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) is jobless but does not seem to mind. Charlotte (Kristin Davis), is still naïve but has two children and worries about her nannies 'assets' and Samantha (Kim Cattrall), the catalyst for the mess of a trip they embark on is desperate, aging and shamelessly on hormones. Hilarity ensues when those are confiscated in Abu Dhabi, mistaken for drugs.
This is only the beginning of the borderline offensive acts that are conducted in Abu Dhabi against the people, place and religion. Samantha, the power hungry cougar that seeks to disrupt everything is the offender and of course her acts hint at liberation for the women there; in a word, ridiculous.
Bringing 'grrl power' to the Middle East is such an Americanized concept that it hurts, almost as much as the harsh glitter of diamonds aforementioned. Miranda, being the knowledgeable lawyer type provides cultural exposition on all things Middle East throughout the painful running time, just in case we the audience do not get that, yes, there are other cultures out there; how about that!
There is some throw backs to the hugely successful TV series, such as the fashion (which gets increasingly bizarre), some nice nostalgia (Carrie's old apartment and Big's sentiments) and the prospective partners of the girls doing the best they can in the ridiculous premise. However the seriously conceived musings and interesting topics that could be related to from the TV series have been replaced with unrealistic situations, conflicted ideals, exposition and one-liners.
In the early segment of the film in New York, before Abu Dhabi (more like Sex and the Cities) Carrie's groan worthy performance of being unhappy in happy circumstances is not the kind of lazy script writing to be expected based on past work and 6 seasons of character development, and the ending, in a fashion unlike Sex and the City, conveniently ties up every single loose end, so everyone can lead their pitch perfect existences.
Anyone who enjoys the concept of Sex and the City, will probably enjoy this film and as a brain dead comedy, it hits the right notes. Noth as Big puts in a great performance as a lazy but caring husband although even he is conflicted by his TV persona as here he is not a bad or complex element for Carrie and is all for the married life.
The elements that made the show Sex and the City the success it was are definitely missing, replaced by an ill conceived 'wow-factor' that expands to the point of explosion and ultimately deflation.