In my review of Nick Funess's second feature The Hedonist, I referenced my informal letterboxd review of his debut Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered (recently picked up for distribution by Anchor Bay) where I wrote "Nick Funess has the juice. Love when something an hour long wows you." In seeing Young Blondes a second time, I've only become more sure of my love for the film and of Funess' talent.
Beyond my history with it, it seems right to begin writing about Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered with a reference to a reference; getting to the point of saying something about this movie through a mention of another movie. Young Blondes never feels direct, it's a movie about movies (or at least the desire to be in them) that plays with our knowledge and expectations to create something singular. Even when a character delivers what could be a thesis statement by saying it's kind of flattering if the actor-killing slasher chooses you, there's something inexplicably fascinating about the film.
From the start, Funess and cinematographer Corentin Leroux establish a sense of remove. In stark digital photography, we see a pretty young blonde woman record a video for an audition from behind her ringlight tripod and then from across the room, generating an uneasy feeling of violation. It's clear the movie doesn't, and thus we shouldn't, care about this character; we're just in her home, watching her.
When she hears something downstairs, the opening becomes one of this largely bloodless film's few semi-straightforward horror sequences. She goes to the top of the stairs to see if there's someone in her home and for an unnervingly long time, we stare down the stairs into blackness, until a small red light confirms a camera is recording.
Rather than develop into an effective slasher, we don't even hear a scream before Young Blondes cuts away and introduces Stacy (Samantha Carroll). Stacy's a young, blonde aspiring actor who's not doing well after moving to Los Angeles. Her fellow young, blonde aspiring actor "friends" are not-so-subtly condescending and more interested in regaling her with possibly fictional stories of their successes than listening to anything she has to say. She's also not getting any parts, and running out of money.
In an audition, during which Stacy delivers the same line as the girl from the opening, a casting director questions whether Stacy really wants to audition for the role of "the young student" and notes that Stacy's blonde is "more strawberry." Blonder peer Josie (Elle Chapman) connects Stacy with a director with the understanding that Stacy will take Josie's place in his project. Of course, things don't come together so simply and the director also comments: "more strawberry." In one of the film's best moments, Carroll's face communicates a combination of heartbreak, despair, and willful optimism while maintaining her composure during her meeting with this director.
Josie's introduction scene reinforces the total lack of true connection between characters. As Stacy and Josie sit next to one another on lounge chairs by a pool, Funess subverts shot-reverse-shot by shooting both actors head on, centered in their own frames, and maintains this framing even when Josie turns her body perpendicular to the camera to better face Stacy. The scene also sets up Josie as a parallel to Stacy. Every so often the film checks in on Josie, showing her happy in her daycare day job and taking a trip to Palm Springs for a shoot. She's a young blonde who is being chosen.
Throughout, Stacy hears stories about aspiring young blonde actors being killed by someone who films the murders and puts them online. We only ever see a bit of these recordings when Stacy watches one, but she stops before the violence, allowing us to see only the stalking portion of the "stalked and murdered." As more and more girls die, and they go from strangers to friends of friends, Stacy begins to consider the flattery of being chosen by the killer.
Young Blondes, Stalked and Murdered is perhaps more tragedy than slasher. And rather than combine them, Funess makes them clash: murder isn't the cause of tragedy, it's the possibility of not being murdered that's tragic.
That reversal contributes to the film's elusive quality. It's reminiscent of the best cosmic horror that sticks in your mind because there's always something beyond the screen. But there's nothing fantastical here, no lore that's not filled in, just a sad actor and what could have been a forgettable premise if it were played straight, which makes Young Blondes all the more beguiling.
The film is available to watch on various VOD platforms, including Google Play, YouTube, and Vimeo. It also has several theatrical engagements lined up, starting this week:
12/3/25 - Austin, TX
https://gathr.com/e/7d629858
12/8/25 - Los Angeles, CA
https://gathr.com/e/7a56c8bb
12/9/25 - Chicago, IL
https://gathr.com/e/baa5f85d
12/17/25 - New York, NY
https://gathr.com/events/816708b5/young-blondes-stalked-and-murdered-screening
1/12/26 - Austin, TX
https://gathr.com/e/b14e3d13
The film can also be pre-ordered on DVD from Anchor Bay's official partner, MVD.