I'm grateful that of the over 100 newly released films I saw in 2011, only maybe fifteen qualify as truly lousy. To top this list, a movie must not be more than bad; it must be downright anger inducing. No single type of film fared worse than comedy in 2011, although you will see plenty of other types of offenders on the list below. (At least one that many other critics have included on their Best Ten lists.) I love comedy, therefore it is all the more important to single out the horrifically bad ones, so that perhaps in future years, perhaps, just maybe, we could be spared the same gross, insulting missteps. (For good comedy of 2011, check out "Crazy, Stupid Love", "Bridesmaids", and "Win Win".) Here I present my annual list of the all-around duds I sat through so hopefully you won't have to. The italicized segments are sampled from my own previously published reviews:
1. The Hangover Part II -
This is supposed to be a lot of fun. It's not fun. It's nothing but a
tedious and pointless rehash that was better left alone. "The Hangover
Part II" is the kind of sequel that, upon seeing it, ultimately makes
you work to maintain the same level of love for the original that you
once had. It diminishes its perfectly good predecessor for a pointless,
glossy cash-grab. The film is long and dull, predictable and familiar.
2. The Change-Up -
Since
this was playing immediately following the "Rise of the Planet of the
Apes" screening which I was there for, I thought "what the heck", and
opted to give this raunchy body-swapping comedy a try. At the end of the
night, I had seen one excellent movie about monkeys, and then a
horrible one that was apparently made by monkeys.
3.
Atlas Shrugged Part I - Atlas wasn't the only one
shrugging through this one, the first entry of a proposed trilogy (which
I presume is derailed off it's blue tracks). When it comes to casting
and production value, "Atlas Shrugged Part I" has been rightfully
compared to a sub-par made-for-TV mini-series from the late 1980s. The
typically non-cinefile American Tea Party demographic the producers so
shamelessly courted to the theaters should feel insulted all around.
4. Cedar Rapids
-
Any discerning viewer looking for the next witty comedy should know
the two faces of "Cedar Rapids": It is a shamelessly cliché-driven
gag-fest when it wants to be funny, but it waves the flag of its
conflicted and irresolvable grown-up character situations when it wants
indie cred. It is somehow trying to be both lowbrow and highbrow, but
ends up just browbeating and pandering. 5. Women on the 6th Floor
-
Shot like a second-rate modern episode of "Masterpiece Theater", and
taking place in 1962 for no apparent reason other than to perhaps stir
the nostalgia of the target audience, "The Women on the 6th Floor" is a
lame duck of film, making tired and shallow proclamations about class in
relation to inherent happiness and satisfaction of life. 6. Soul Surfer - Don't let the bewildering array of
positive reviews and box office success fool you - the true-life tale
"Soul Surfer", ostensibly an "inspirational" film, is a soggy
tween-centric "Triumph of the human spirit" movie gussied up with just
enough Christian-ese to muster the approval of youth pastors everywhere.
7. Cave of Forgotten Dreams -
There's
no way around it - "Cave of Forgotten Dreams" is boring. Terminally,
draggingly, boring. The subject could be an interesting one, but I
suspect that once Herzog's creative visions fell victim to the heavy
restrictions of the cave managers, his entire inspiration for the
project became weighed down. Even his trademark bluntly Zen narration
sounds more like self-parody than the transcendent directory it's
intended as.
8. The Rum Diary -
That bleary-eyed sensation you may be overcome with while watching
"The Rum Diary" is not the contact high of classic Hunter S. Thompson vigor and
delirium coming through. No, it's just plain old sleepiness.
9. Green Lantern
- Clearly hoping to cop Marvel's winning "Iron Man" formula (casting a
magnetically likeable actor as a second tier hero), the fact that poor
Ryan Reynolds' personality cannot fill this cosmic comic book CGI
super-suit is just one of this big budget bomb's many fails. What
should be a fun space romp proves dull and muddled.
10. The Art of Getting By
-
Despite the authentic New York locations and the wealth of name
talent in the cast, "The Art of Getting By" can't transcend its low
budget roots. The visual direction is uninspired and flat, and the
writing is faux-clever pandering.
Others to avoid: Immortals; Cars 2; Drive Angry
My Top 10 Films of 2011
- Jim Tudor