Ever have the experience of getting stuck listening to a little kid’s endless “funny story”? At first the story seems amusing, so you engage a little, which causes the kid to go on even longer (hey, a willing, captive audience!), painfully prolonging the finale. Your initial larkish grin develops into a glazed-over stare accompanied by a half-hearted string of responses: “Then what happened?” “Yeah? Then what happened?” “And THEN what happened?” Somewhere along the line, you realize you’re being strung along, as it’s all about the journey of telling you the story, not the resolution, anyway. Well folks, the Farrelly brothers and Ben Stiller now have a “Kid” just like that – their remake of Elaine May’s 1972’s “The Heartbreak Kid”. What starts out as a promising, raunchy comedy slogs into an unending string of warmed over hijinx. Perhaps ironically, the final zinger that rolls around just before the end credits actually works better if you’ve checked out of this yarn at that point.
Not to say that all comedies should run 100 minutes tops, but it’s generally accepted knowledge that even that is pushing it. “The Heartbreak Kid” clocks in at 116 minutes, and while not “Lawrence of Arabia”, or even, perhaps more aptly, Billy Wilder’s epic comedy misfire “Avanti!”, it is clear that no one, not any of the five credited screenwriters, knew how to end this thing – so, they simply don’t for as long as possible. In the Farrellys’ defense, however, it should be noted that every gag is paid off, even some that aren’t even immediately recognizable as set-ups. But at the same time, this film’s third act falls into the same trap as the third act of “The Wedding Crashers”, where the pathetic, forlorn protagonist is reduced to a stalker in hopes of redeeming himself in the eyes of the woman he loves. The wheels of the plot spin in futility as the audience begins to ask, “Hey, what happened to all the funny stuff?”
Perhaps this overload has to do with the fact that Ben Stiller, now very obviously grey on top, has to overcompensate to earn the title “Kid”. Or maybe that’s just the nature of his comedic work, and we should come to realize that. (Just to name one, “Mystery Men”, as fun as it is, suffers from similar over-length.) Whatever the case, odds are most folks will find the first half of “The Heartbreak Kid” entertaining, if not always successful. Having never seen the Charles Grodin original, I can’t compare the two, but from what I’ve gathered, the general plot remains: Stiller, a longtime loser at love, finally meets a girl and immediately marries her, only to fall in love with another woman on his honeymoon. Right away, you can understand how the directors had their work cut out for them in terms of keeping the audience sympathetic to a guy like that. Perhaps that’s a job that actually justifies five credited screenwriters for a remake.
Of course the new wife (Malin Akerman) is quickly revealed to be a bit of a freak, and her physical unavailability due to massive sunburn does little to keep her new hubby from going solo to enjoy the fruits of their tropical vacation paradise. Akerman is good for a few laughs, and a couple of surprisingly graphic whacked-out sex scenes before her sudden idiosyncratic behavior lands her off-screen to make room for bubbly, available Michelle Monaghan. Our boy falls for her, no thanks to her overly enthusiastic extended family, which seems to have stumbled out of a hundred different “Saturday Night Live” sketches. Will he do the right thing, or will he do the wrong thing? And just what are the right and wrong things in this situation, anyway? Will he end up with his wife, or with his new love, or will the border patrol get him?
Wait a minute – border patrol?? Yup, late in the film, Stiller has to sneak back into the United States, and let’s just say that if the actual border patrol was as effective at rounding up illegals as they are shown to be in this comedy montage, the whole debate of illegal immigration wouldn’t ever be an issue in the U.S. But that’s “The Heartbreak Kid” for you. No comedic possibility is left unexplored – even when it probably should be. Makes you wonder what deleted scenes, if any, they held back for the DVD. (Case in point: If you stay all the way through the end credits, you’ll get a couple of scenes that the ratings board members must’ve left the theater to soon to see.)
Maybe it’s unfair to flat out condemn “The Heartbreak Kid” for being too long. It is, after all, not without its charm. It may very well be the Farrelly brothers best work since “There’s Something About Mary”, a movie made back when Ben Stiller could actually pass for a Kid. It is a welcome return to R-rated raunchy humor, but the heart isn’t quite in the right place. Stiller is engaging enough for a while, but when he starts trying to cheat on his wife just because she’s loopy and likes crazy sex, it’s often difficult to sympathize. Stiller’s actual father, Jerry Stiller, plays his screen pop, and steals every scene he’s in simply by calling his son “pussy dick” over and over again. So yes, the film has its moments, but ultimately, this is just another long-winded “Kid” story.
- Jim Tudor