Venice 2013 Dispatch, Day Two And Three: How To Die Of Boring Films Only To Be Saved By Stephen Frears And Emma Dante

jackie-chan
Contributor; Italy, The Philippines
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The most important news of the day is that Apichatpong Weerasethakul has changed his name to "Joe". It's not a reference to the new David Gordon Green film, and it might even be old news, but just call the dude "Joe", no surname. Like Shakira. Or Prince. Or McLovin. That guy is a genius. And now on to the films.

Let's kill ourselves with boring films: The Police Officer's Wife (Philip Groning) is 175 minutes of inhuman stagnation. Kelly Reichardt, meanwhile - here with her latest movie, Night Moves, starring Jesse Eisenberg and Dakota Fanning - should really start considering retirement. The film is a goddamn punch in the balls, with absolutely nothing going on for two hours. Please kill me.

Other boring stuff in random order: The 70 short films to celebrate the Festival's anniversary are rubbish (saving just a few works, Catherine Breillat in primis); Santiago Palavecino's Algunas Chicas is a cheap and nasty fake Lynch copycat, and Alessandro Rosetto's Piccola Patria would make the top ten list of the worst films ever screened in Venice in the last ten years. Please kill me, repeat.

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venice film festival
  • Ηράκλειτος Σκοτεινός Εφέσιος

    I'm laughing my ass off: "The Police Officer's Wife (Philip Groning) is 175 minutes of inhuman stagnation." xD

  • Ard Vijn

    Interesting outrage here. This article exists of six sections: the intro and five mini-articles. Four of those highlight films which Pierre liked. One of those lists a few films he found severely lacking.
    I wonder if people would have been as mad at Pierre if the "boring" section had been placed at the end instead of the beginning.

    Note that Pierre's pieces (in this specific series) are not reviews, or at least not yet. He just lists his daily impressions. Snippets of news, stuff he liked, stuff he didn't like. He keeps his remarks short out of necessity, as at the moment he's watching an unbelievable number of films each day AND doing some pretty spectacular interviews. Simply put, as long as he is participating in the festival, we won't get the long articles we know and love him for. Just these brief insights.

    When his detailed reviews come in, feel free to roast him for bad, opinionated (or too-brief) writing, if you have a point. For now, I'm happy with his daily accounts on what's up and down in Venice.

  • Judi

    ahah guys, are you joining the disappointing
    festival right now? These comments are really annoying, cuz the article
    explains in a efficient and synthetic way why this 70th
    edition is so unsatisfying (unfortunately!! Hope it gets better in the next
    days)

  • Aeron

    No, the writing is very unprofessional, rude and careless. A sorry sight indeed for twitch.

  • Judi

    Another Groning's fan? XD Well, I really prefer a writing immediate and eloquent at the same time, than a endless essay about films that don't deserve it, also. Yup, I like twitch even more cuz of the variety of style and form of its writers!

  • jordan q

    hahahah, the press office (who is paid to talk goodly about his films) should actually keep his mouth closed

  • Drew Kerr

    I agree with Richard: this is a waste of a post that says almost nothing. You're bored? Explain why or don't bore us!

  • p.h

    Richard, you're not credible, being the press office of some of these boring films. have a good day

  • Richard Lormand

    Hombrebueno, if you want to challenge my credibility, bring it on :)

  • Richard Lormand

    If that is your idea of a festival report, then you are boring. What are you even doing here?

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