33D INVADER Review

Asian Editor; Hong Kong, China (@Marshy00)
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33D INVADER Review
It was all looking a little worrying for the Category III skin flick in Hong Kong. After actor Edison Chen foolishly put his lap top in for a service back in 2006, and hundreds of sexy photos and videos of some of Hong Kong's most desirable female stars were discovered and leaked onto the Internet, the media backlash was ferocious. There seemed little hope in getting any respectable actress to bare their assets in public again, but slowly the "leng-mo" phenomenon arrived and it became fashionable and even desirable for aspiring young actresses and models to have an ample rack and big Bambi eyes over anything resembling actual talent. Celebrities such as Chrissie Chau and Carol Yeung were born, who were all too willing to strip down to their smalls and show some flesh in films like Patrick Kong's MARRIAGE WITH A LIAR.

The real breakthorugh came earlier this year with the colossal success of Christopher Sun's 3D SEX AND ZEN: EXTREME ECSTACY, which has been the runaway box office sensation of the year for the local industry. And in the wake of this we now get Cash Chin's 33D INVADER, which uses an incredibly silly science fiction hook to tell the familiar story of a group of awkward geeky guys trying to hook up with the hot girls who live next door. Plot and character development are scarce throughout, but so is clothing and those looking for some mild titillation - and honestly, there's no other reason to be watching - will be more than satisfied as the film may well be the raciest entry to-date in this new wave of softcore romps.

Stephen (Tsui Ho Cheong), Danson (Andrew Kwok) and Felix (Justin Cheung) are three desperately ugly and socially awkward guys who have rented a beach house for the summer. They are overjoyed to discover that the house next door has been acquired by four stunning beauties - Jeana (Akiho Yoshizawa), Ceci (Chen Chih Ying), Mia (Lee Ko-Chu) and Jane (Monna Lam). Supposedly they are all top flight college students looking for somewhere quiet to study for their final exams, although they appear more than content to frolic around in the surf and take long sensual showers by the window. When the lads discover the girls are classmates of their buddy Lawrence (Chen Jyun Yan), they are able to quit their ridiculous attempts to get into the girls' pants - which run the gamut from pretending to be aliens to pretending to be ghosts - and actually manage to work their way into the apartment, where the buxom, scantily-clad beauties prove surprisingly welcoming.

After a brief, tacked-on introduction, it takes a very long time for the science fiction story to kick into gear, and only after two gratuitously voyeuristic shower scenes and one steamy sex scene does our titular heroine arrive on the scene. Future (Macy Wu) has been sent back in time from the year 2046 (the only date in Hong Kong's future with any significance), where 80% of the world's men have become impotent. Future's mission is to find herself a male specimen of good stock and have him impregnate her, so she can return to the future and begin rebuilding the human race (presuming she doesn't have a baby girl, of course).

Taking its cue from James Cameron's THE TERMINATOR, Future must travel back in time naked, so when she suddenly appears in Lawrence's bed wearing nothing but her birthday suit and anxious to breed, this unsurprisingly causes friction between him and Jeana, who proves she can be just as predatory as her futuristic rival.

To add to the excitement, a pair of evil aliens - Xucker 1 (Kato Takako) and Xucker 2 (Hsueh Ya Wen) - travel back in time to thwart Future's plans and ensure that global domination be theirs. If she is raped by either of them she will be rendered infertile, and most likely suffer from terrible internal injuries as well, as these hermaphroditic invaders are frighteningly well-endowed. Suffice to say, before the movie is over a number of characters have been forcibly set-upon, but it's to the film's credit - I suppose - that none of them appear to enjoy the experience.

Make no mistake, 33D INVADER is a pretty terrible film, but it never attempts to be anything else and the willingness of its cast - in particular Akiho Yoshizawa and the incredibly buxom Chen Chih Ying - to disrobe at the slightest provocation, and occasionally even to cause provocation, makes the film a not all-together arduous experience. It whips along at a brisk pace, clocks in at a scant 80 minutes or so and never attempts to be about anything other than getting laid, regardless of each character's motivations for doing so. Provided you can get past the obstacle of watching some pretty bizarre and ugly looking men manhandle these not unattractive young ladies, target audiences should find the experience fleetingly entertaining. 

There is still an over-reliance on using Japanese AV stars in these films, rather than home grown talent, but if that is what it takes to facilitate local filmmakers returning to the Cat.III skinflick, then so be it. There's a lot of fun to be had in this area of filmmaking and if there is another hit like 3D SEX AND ZEN in the pipeline then they may come back for good. 33D INVADER is unlikely to be that much of a success, but the enthusiasm of Cash Chin and his cast should be encouraged and applauded.

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Man Kei ChinSean ChanWu Qing-QingAkiho YoshizawaTaka KatôJun-Yan ChenSci-Fi

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